Two years ago, I was sitting in my car waiting in line for paying the toll (通行费). When I finally reached the toll station, the toll station worker told me that the person in front had paid for me and I was free to go. I was so shocked. I didn’t need to save the 5 dollars. I would never know who he was. I was tired of the heavy traffic and the long line, and that behavior was surprising and unbelievable, which really touched my heart. So I decided to pay for the next car waiting in line.

The first time I tried to pay forward the toll, I kept looking into my rear-view mirror (后视镜) to see who I’d be paying for. In the mirror, I saw a tired-looking taxi driver. And I felt satisfied that my money would be going to a good place. But before we got to the toll station, the taxi driver had suddenly changed his way and now there was someone else behind me. She looked upset and was gesturing (打手势) angrily in a conversation with her friend. I wasn’t willing to be paying for a woman like that and was certainly judging her by what I was seeing in the mirror. Anyway, I paid the toll for both of us and left.

Thirty seconds later I was surprised to hear a honk (汽车喇叭声). It was the woman and her friend waving at me from the other way! She looked cheerful and happy. She wasn’t what I thought she was like. This was a valuable lesson that I shouldn’t judge people so quickly. After all, I don’t know their stories.

①The writer saw an upset and angry woman but still paid for her.

②The writer decided to pay forward the toll for a taxi driver.

③The writer saw the woman and changed his judgement.

④The person in front of the writer paid for him.

“Somebody just died,” my daughter Katy begins.

“Somebody was just born,” I answer, smiling.

“Somebody is crying,” she replies.

“Somebody is laughing.”

This is our game. It’s our secret way of being amazed at the complexity (复杂性) of the world. I was reminded of our game yesterday as Molly, my 15-year-old pet dog, lay beside me. Molly was more than a pet. She was part of me. But she was dying.

Molly was given to me as a puppy a few months after I completed my exams in college and has been by my side ever since. But when I took her out the other day, she started to walk slowly and then fell down.

“She’s getting ready to go,” I bravely told my husband.

One day, I walked down to the stream to think. As I looked around, I thought that the magic of a forest is not all about the green leaves or colorful plants. It is the decay (腐朽) that makes the color stand out.

Katy’s game rang in my mind. Something is decaying, I thought, something is growing, I thought …

We chose to keep Molly at home. We didn’t want to make her last trip uneasy at the vet’s. Our task was to keep her be with us and make sure she was comfortable.

I wanted to be by her side. If I tried to leave the kitchen, she struggled to pick up her head to find me. So, I stayed.

My kitchen became like the forest, like Katy’s game. Somebody was crying. Somebody was cooking. Somebody was dying.

Molly lifted up her head with a sudden jerk (猝然一动). I dropped the cup I was holding and rushed to her. I took hold of Molly and placed my fingers over her beating heart. I kept them there, feeling her pulse, until it stopped. I didn’t beg her to stay. That would have been silly.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t cry, though. The girls hugged me, more frightened by my sadness than by the loss of the dog.

“Mommy! Say you’ll be happy again.” Katy cried.

I took my hands from Molly and put them around Katy’s balled fists.

“Remember the game?” I whispered quietly. “Where sometimes somebody’s happy and somebody else is sad?”

She nodded.

“Right now, it’s my turn to be sad. And you just have to let me be. But that doesn’t mean I’ll never be happy, okay?”

For now, I’m just somebody who’s sad. Somebody who cries. Somebody who loves. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after, I’ll be somebody who laughs.

My son starts school today. It’s going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I hope you will be nice to him.

You see, until now, he has been the boss of his home. I have always been around to take care of him and make him feel better.

But now, things are going to be different. This morning, he is going to walk down the front steps himself, say goodbye and start a new journey that will be difficult and challenging.

It will require love and bravery to live his life in the world.

So, World, I hope you will take him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know. Give him quiet time to think about why there are birds in the sky and flowers on the green hill. Teach him that for every villain (恶棍), there is a hero; that for every enemy, there is a friend. Teach him how wonderful reading can be. Teach him that it is better to fail than it is to cheat (欺骗). Teach him to believe in himself, even if everyone tells him that he is wrong. Teach him gently, World, but don’t protect him from everything. Facing difficult situations will make him strong.

This is a big order, World, but see what you can do.

Yours,

A worried mother