“If you don’t believe, I’ll call the police.” is a lie that parents might use to get their young children to behave. A new psychological（心理学的）study led by Nanyang Technological University, Singapore suggests that it has a relationship with harmful results when the children become adults.
The research team asked 379 Singaporean young adults whether their parents lied to them when they were children, how much they lie to their parents as adults, and how well they deal with adulthood challenges.
The first questionnaire（问卷）asked these young adults to recall（回忆）if their parents told them lies about eating, leaving or staying, spending money and so on. Some examples of such lies are “If you don’t come with me now, I will leave you here by yourself and “I don’t bring money with me today, we can come back another day”. Most of them filled in “Yes”. The second questionnaire included questions that could show how often they lie to their parents when they become adults. Adults who were lied to as children were more likely to lie to their parents when they grow up. They also said it was much more difficult for them when meeting psychological and social challenges.
Lead author Setoh Peipei from NTU Singapore’s School of Social Sciences said, “Parenting by lying can seem to save time, especially when the real reasons behind why parents want children to do something are difficult to explain. When parents tell children that honesty is the best rule, but display dishonesty by lying, such behavior can send wrong messages to their children. Parents’ dishonesty may finally destroy trust and encourage dishonesty in children.”
Our research suggests that parenting by lying is a practice that has negative influence on children when they grow up. Parents should understand these possible risks and think of other ways to replace lying, such as knowing children’s feelings, giving specific information so children know what to expect, offering choices and solving problems together, to encourage children to have good behavior, said lead author Setoh Peipei.
| Children can be | |
| Introduction | Parents’ using lies to make their children behave will |
| Questionnaires to 379 young adults | Asked them to recall if their parents told them lies. Asked about the frequency of Asked about their psychosocial problems. |
| Results | They faced greater difficulty when meeting psychological and social challenges. Some guests are with the sound proofing（隔音）and the dirty house. |
| Opinions | It’s hard to explain the reasons why parents lie to their children. |
| Parents should understand these possible risks and use correct ways instead of lying during parenting. Otherwise, trust between them would disappear and children would certainly learn dishonesty from them. | |
