How do you feel when you have to make a speech in front of class? What about when you go to a birthday party? Do you get really shy?

Shyness means feeling nervous or frightened when you’re around other people. Experts have found that more than 80 percent of middle school students feel afraid to be the center of attention. Some kids are born shy. Some become shy later because of their life experiences.

It’s OK if it takes you a while to feel yourself again when you go to a new place or meet new people. In fact, everybody gets a little shy sometimes. It’s just a case of how much.

Most people have red faces and talk in broken sentences when they get shy. But some become so shy that they won’t go to a restaurant because they are too nervous to order and pay for their food. Some are afraid of meeting new people, so they seldom go outside. This kind of shyness can be bad for a person.

If shyness doesn’t stop you from doing something you want to do, being shy isn’t a very big problem. Some experts say shy people are cleverer because they think more and talk less. Shy people are also good at working with others because they think more for other people. Some great people in history were shy, too.

You see, being shy isn’t all bad. But remember not to let good opportunities (机会) pass by just because of it! If you have to sing a song at a birthday party or practice your spoken English in front of others, just do it! There’s nothing to be afraid of.

Do you want to be a volunteer? Maybe you need some ideas. Here is some advice.

Help kids learn and grow. Be a big brother or sister at an after-school care center. You can help little kids to learn or play with them.

Give back (回馈) during the holidays. Serve dinner for the homeless, volunteer at an old people’s home, or give out toys to kids.

Help at an animal shelter (庇护所). Most shelters depend on volunteers to keep the cats and dogs happy and take them to exercise. And when you’re walking dogs, you get some exercise, too.

Protect the environment. Take part in a park clean-up day. Plant a tree. Join a group to work together to protect a river.

Help sick people. Helping others can make you feel good. When you cheer sick people up, you also feel happy. If you have several hobbies, find a way to do them all. For example, if you love kids and are good at painting and dancing, visit a children’s hospital and teach them these interesting things.

“A wise old owl sat on an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke, the more he heard. Why aren’t we like that wise old bird?”—Edward H Richards.

We all need to learn to listen well. Listening is a learned skill, the same as speaking in public. It just takes much longer to learn! Listening is a skill we should be practicing every day. And I mean active listening, not just listening when it is convenient to us.

Listening shows others that they are important. It’s a sign of respect. If someone listens to you carefully when you are talking, it shows that they are really interested in what you are saying.

How do you practice listening? Here are some basic rules:

Put down whatever is in your hands. Are you in the middle of writing something? Put down the pen and fold your hands. Are you reading something? Close it so that it will be impossible for you to look down and start reading again. Then put it down.

Turn off your computer. The computer will distract (使分心) you from your job at hand—listening.

Face the person you are speaking with. Facing the person you are speaking with will help you focus completely on listening. It will also make the person feel that you find what he is saying important.

Mind your body language. Leaning (身体倾斜) toward the speaker will show interest. Crossing your arms in front of your chest shows disagreement. Looking around the room shows you have no interest. Tapping (轻扣) your fingers tells the speaker that you are really too busy for him. Looking that speaker in the eye tells him that he is important.

Listen completely. Do not start making comments (评价) after the first few words. Do not start thinking about your reply in your mind. Pay attention to the speaker. Really listen to what he is telling you.