It’s always easier to say “Yes” because most of us want to please other people. Somebody asks you to go for a party but you have tests the next day, or to help them although you are busy at the moment, or to join the activities you have no interest at all! Even though your heart is crying NO, you find the word “Yes” come out of your mouth. However, it usually results in anger—not only for the person who asked you, but also for yourself for not being strong enough.

Lisa Messenger, the Collective Hub CEO, said in her first few years of business, many people asked her to talk over a coffee. Actually, she usually ended up having 20 coffee meetings a week and that stopped her from doing business because she didn’t have time to do her own work.

Messenger finally learned to refuse like “No, I’m sorry, but I don’t have time.”. She believes if you say “Yes”, you will regret later. Or your heart will be filled with guilt, fear or anger because you feel bad for agreeing to do something you never want to. So you need to be brave enough to say “No” when you’re asked at first.

Janine Garner, CEO of The LBD Group, believed we need to get very clear about our goals. Unless we work towards our goals, nobody else will care about our time. Garner said, “We may end up saying ‘Yes’ because we feel sorry for somebody who needs us. But we end up having that awful feeling in our heart. You can only achieve the best of you by stopping doing the things that take up your time and don’t add anything towards your goals. Take a good look at the time spent on others, which you really should spend on yourself.”

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Amy walked toward Miss Brown’s backyard, where she was planting roses. Last week, Amy and her parents just moved into the house next door.

The old woman looked up, “Why the long face, Amy?”

“There aren’t any kids around to play with,” said Amy. “I have nothing to do.”

Miss Brown smiled, “You sound just like a girl who used to live here.”

“Really? Who?”

“Her name is Rachel,” said Miss Brown. “Too bad you two young girls couldn’t have lived here at the same time.”

“What did Rachel do when she was bored?” asked Amy.

“She planted a flower garden,” answered Miss Brown.

Amy looked at Miss Brown’s roses. “Could I, too?”

Miss Brown handed Amy some tools and roses. “This will get you started.”

“Thanks,” said Amy.

Amy worked hard the whole afternoon in her garden. When she saw the lovely roses planted, she smiled. Still, it was too bad that Rachel wasn’t there.

The next day, Amy watered her roses and walked to Miss Brown’s backyard, where she sat reading. “What else did Rachel do?” asked Amy.

“She wrote poems in her flower garden,” Miss Brown answered. “One of her poems even won a prize in a school competition.”

Amy closed her eyes. “How good it would feel, but I don’t know how to write poems,” she said. Miss Brown smiled, “The best way is to read poems first.” She handed Amy her book. “Thanks,” said Amy.

Amy lay on her stomach next to her roses and read. Then she started to write. That night she had a poem that might not be a prizewinner but sounded good enough. Still, it was too bad that Rachel wasn’t there.

The third day, Amy watered her flowers, wrote a new poem, and then walked to Miss Brown again. “What else did Rachel do?” asked Amy, “She played in the attic(阁楼). Come with me,” Miss Brown invited. “Thanks!” said Amy.

“Make yourself at home,” Miss Brown said and left Amy to search alone there. Then Amy found a trophy(奖杯) with these words — First Prize in Poetry. Rachel Brown. 1937.

Slowly, a smile spread across her face. Amy ran back to Miss Brown, “I wonder if Rachel would like to write poems in my flower garden.” Miss Brown smiled, “I think she would love to.”

Twice a month, Nona Avery sits down, picks up her pen and writes a letter to her best friend. The British woman has been doing it for 80 years. She has sent more than 1,500 letters to her pen pal in America.

The hobby started in 1942. Nona, then 12, was reading a magazine. Some people were asking for pen pals in the magazine. One of them caught Nona’s eyes. It was from Alice Powers. She lived in America and was also 12. “I was very excited,” Nona said. “I sat down immediately, wrote a letter, put it in an envelope (信封) — together with a picture of myself — and posted it.”

Nona spent every day waiting for the postman. Two weeks later — which felt like a lifetime — a reply dropped through the letterbox. “I was overjoyed,” Nona said. “There was a letter and a picture of my new friend. She was all the way on the other side of the world!”

Nona and Alice wanted to learn more about each other. They kept writing. The two found that they had a lot in common. They liked the same books and the same films.

However, both Nona and Alice were too poor to pay for a plane ticket. It was not until 1987 that they met. “I was excited to see the person I had been writing to for forty years,” Nona said. “We had a big hug and then sat down, chatting for hours.”

Now in their nineties, Nona and Alice are still writing to each other. And they still write by hand. “Writing is much closer. So why shall we change the habit of a lifetime?” Nona said. “I’m so glad that I wrote that first letter 80 years ago.”

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