When I was about 12, I had an enemy, a girl who liked to point out my short-comings. Week by week her list grew: I was very thin, I wasn’t a good student, I talked too much and so on. I tried to hear all this as long as I could. At last, I became very angry. I ran to my father with tears in my eyes.

He listened to me quietly, then he asked. “Are the things she says true or not? Janet, didn’t you ever wonder what you’re really like? Well, you now have that girl’s opinion. Go and make a list of everything she said and mark the points that are true. Pay no attention to the other things she said.”

I did as he told me. To my great surprise, I discovered that about half the things were true. Some of them I couldn’t change (like being very thin), but a good number I could and suddenly I wanted to change. For the first time I go to fairly clear picture of myself.

I brought the list back to Daddy. He refused to take it. “That’s just for you,” he said. “You know better than anyone else the truth about yourself. But you have to learn to listen, when something said about you is true, you’ll find it will be of help to you.”

“Our world is full of people who think they know your duty. Don’t shut your ears. Listen to them all, but hear the truth and do what you know is the right thing to do.” Daddy’s advice has returned to me at many important moments. In my life, I’ve never had a better piece of advice.

We went into a secondhand shop to get out of the rain.

I took my 6-year-old daughter’s hand and we started to walk around. Suddenly she reached out her hand to touch a pair of shiny black shoes.

“Buy for me?” she asked.

“Oh, Sweetie, they are tap dancing (踢踏舞) shoes. You aren’t taking tap dance.”

“Buy for me?” she repeated. “Well, let’s try them on.”

She sat on the floor and took off her bright pink rain boots. When she stood up we heard “click”. She took a step, “click, click, click.”

The sun came out and we went on our way. Our next stop was the grocery store (杂货店).

“Click, click, click ...” people turned to look as we entered the store. People would never allow their daughter to wear tap dancing shoes to the grocery store.

“Excuse me, dear. Why would you allow your daughter to wear tap dancing shoes here? They make such a noise.”

“Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Wonderful? My dear, this is not the place to wear those shoes.”

“You don’t understand. When she was a baby, doctors told us that she would never walk or talk. It has taken a lot of hard work and patience, but she asked for the shoes and the ‘click, click, click’ says that she can walk,” I said.

My daughter is 18 now and will graduate from grade 12 in June. It has not always been easy, but it has all been worthwhile (值得做的). She has taught me that it doesn’t matter what others think. They don’t walk in your shoes.

When I was in Grade 8, I had a heated argument (争吵) with my classmate, Tony. I have forgotten what the argument was about, but I have never forgotten the lesson I learned that day.

I believed that I was right and he was wrong, and Tony believed that I was wrong and he was right. Our teacher, a kind and smart lady, decided to teach us a lesson. She brought us to the front of the class and placed him on one side of her desk and me on the other. In the middle of her desk was a large and round object. I could clearly see that it was black. The teacher asked us what colour the object was. “White”, Tony answered. I couldn’t believe he said the object was white! “Clearly, it was black!” Another argument started between Tony and me, this time about the colour of the object.

The teacher told me to go and stand where Tony was standing and told him to go and stand where I was standing. We changed places, and then she asked me what colour the object was. I had to answer, “White.” It was an object with two differently coloured sides—from his side it was white, while from my side it was black. “Boys, now, what do you say?” The teacher smiled at us. Tony and I looked at each other for a while, and both laughed.

My teacher taught me a very important lesson that day: When you disagree with others, you’d better be in their shoes. That will help you look at the situation through their eyes, and truly understand their ideas and ways of thinking.