I used to think the whole purpose of life was pursuing happiness. Everyone said the path to happiness was success, so I searched for that ideal job, that perfect boyfriend, that beautiful apartment. But instead of ever feeling fulfilled, I felt anxious and lost. Eventually, I decided to go to graduate school for positive psychology to learn what truly makes people happy.
And what’s the difference between being happy and having meaning in life? Many psychologists describe happiness as a state of comfort and ease, feeling good in the moment. Meaning, though, is deeper. The famous psychologist Martin Seligman says meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself and from developing the best within you. Our culture is obsessed (痴迷于) with happiness, but I came to see that seeking meaning is the more fulfilling path.
There are four pillars (支柱) of a meaningful life.
The first pillar is belonging. Belonging comes from being in relationships where you’re valued for who you are and where you value others as well. For many people belonging is the most essential source of meaning.
For others, the key to meaning is the second pillar: purpose. Finding your purpose is not the same thing as finding that job that makes you happy. A doctor told me her purpose is healing sick people. Many parents tell me, “My purpose is raising my children.” The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others. Without something worthwhile to do, people flounder (不知所措).
The third pillar of meaning is also about stepping beyond yourself, but in a completely different way: transcendence (超然). Transcendent experiences can change you, Transcendent states are those rare moments when you’re lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away, and you feel connected to a higher reality. For me, I’m a writer, and it happens through writing. Sometimes I get so in the zone that I lose all sense of time and place.
The fourth pillar is storytelling, the story you tell yourself about yourself. Creating a narrative from the events of your life brings clarity. It helps you understand how you became you. But we don’t always realize that we’re the authors of our stories and can change the way we’re telling them. Your life isn’t just a list of events. You can edit, interpret and retell your story, even as you’re constrained by the facts.
That’s the power of meaning. Happiness comes and goes. But when life is really good and when things are really bad, having meaning gives you something to hold on to.
【小题1】What can we know from the first two paragraphs?| A．Life can be fulfilled by landing ideal jobs. |
| B．Life dilemma is easy for us to get out of. |
| C．Meaning is highly valued in our culture. |
| D．Happiness is what most people try to achieve. |
| A．nothing is as essential a source of meaning as belonging |
| B．purpose is less about what you want than what you give |
| C．transcendent fades easily and rarely makes us cheerful |
| D．the way of telling stories guarantees a meaningful life |
| A．meaning is more important than happiness |
| B．seeking meaning does more good than bad |
| C．chasing happiness can make people unhappy |
| D．meaning has deeper psychological significance |
