Stained glass (彩色玻璃) artists create different designs by making cuts on the glass to “score” it and then breaking off the pattern that they want to use in the finished product. The most difficult cut in stained glass is called an inside cut. Basically, it’s a curved (弯曲的) line where you throw away the part inside of the curve. The problem with inside cuts is that the edges of the curve tend to break off when the pieces of scored glass are broken apart.

As the artist talked about inside cuts, he said, “The glass will break into pieces if you try to cut too much off at once. The best way to do an inside cut is to slice off smaller curves piece-by-piece. In fact, it’s not just the best way to do it, but it’s the only way to do it.”

How many times do you try to make a big change and cut the entire piece at once? We convince ourselves that we can do this all the time. We’ll commit to transforming our diet overnight or we get inspired to launch a business in a weekend or we finally get motivated to work out and push ourselves to the edge of burning out.

Why not approach your goals and dreams like a stained glass artist? Starting by slicing a shallow curve and breaking a small piece off, you cut a slightly deeper curve and break that off until you have your full inside cut. By slowly cutting deeper and deeper curves, you prevent the glass from breaking as it changes shape.

Of course, change isn’t easy — no matter how you do it. Slow gains are boring, but if we keep making small improvements, then pretty soon we will end up with a beautiful masterpiece on our hands instead of a bunch of broken pieces.

Once I had a student called Jamal. He would squirm (扭来扭去)in his chair during independent work, and he would never stay still for more than three or four minutes. Students like Jamal can confuse brand new teachers because they’re not quite sure how to support young people like him. I took a direct approach. I negotiated with Jamal. If he could give me focused work, then he could do it from anywhere in the classroom: from our classroom rug, from behind my desk, or from inside his classroom locker, which turned out to be his favorite place.

Jamal’s least favorite subject was writing, and he never wanted to read what he had written out loud in class, but we were still making progress. One day, I decided to host a mock (模拟的)2008 presidential election in my classroom. My third graders had to research and write a speech for their chosen candidate: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton or John McCain. The favorite candidates were obvious, but one student chose John McCain. It was Jamal. Jamal finally decided to read something that he had written out loud in class, and sure enough, Jamal stunned all of us with his brilliance. Just like Jamal’s dad, John McCain was a veteran, and just like Jamal’s dad protected him, Jamal believed that John McCain would protect the entire country. He wasn’t my candidate of choice, but it didn’t matter, because the entire class erupted into applause for our brave friend Jamal who finally showed up as his most confident self for the first time that year.

A lack of confidence pulls us down from the bottom and weighs us down from the top, crushing us between a flurry of can’ts and won’ts. Without confidence, we get stuck, and when we get stuck, we can’t even get started. Instead of getting mired in what can get in our way, confidence invites us to perform with certainty.

My family and I belonged to a country club located across the street from the Long Island Sound. Each summer, the big attraction for us was the pool. I learned how to swim and joined the swimming team but was never really a good swimmer. However, swimming in my younger days was a way to keep cool, and swimming on a team gave me identity and a sense of belonging . It also became invaluable many years later.

In 1973, I was married, pregnant and had a home. What made our little home even more wonderful was when I discovered that four blocks away was Rath Park Pool! For the next 30 years, most of our summer days were spent around that pool.

Each of my five kids took swimming lessons and learned all the different swimming strokes (姿势). They later joined the swimming team and competed in sports meets. My daughter even became a lifeguard at the town pool. I sat back and happily took it all in!

As much as I would have liked to have life stand still, it doesn’t. My children outgrew their pool days and moved on. But the pool was still four blocks from my home, so I began to take up swimming again. And it was far better than I ever could have imagined. I got so much out of it that I joined the local pool so I could swim year-round. Whenever I swam, I would always come out feeling physically and mentally refreshed. I often felt that if I looked hard enough, I would be able to see all of the worries and problems I’ve had in life, sitting at the bottom of the pool!

What has swimming taught me? I’ve learned that balance is the key to being a good swimmer. If you are balanced in the water, you have no resistance. Working on staying balanced made me realize the similarities between life in and out of the swim lane (泳道). If you work on keeping yourself balanced, you will be able to swim right through the stress and problems life throws at you!