Claire was set up to get her dream job working as a reporter at a popular news station. She went to visit her father before her interview. Her mother, who had always been her biggest supporter, had died a few years earlier.

As she visited her father, she told him about how nervous she was about the interview. Her father said, “You will do great because you are a lot like your mother, and your mother did great at everything.”

Claire pictured her mother, the most supportive person she had ever met, and had a realization. Was she really like her mother? She didn't think so. She was so focused on herself that she didn't even know about her family's struggles.

Suddenly, she felt ashamed. She left for the airport with a lot more to think about than her job. An hour before boarding, her sister called to wish her luck. She listened to her sister in a way she had never listened before. She asked her about her kids and her life. Her sister admitted that she wasn't doing very well. She was having a hard time.

Claire ended the conversation with her sister just before boarding started. She made a decision to be more like her mom and take care of what really matters in life. She spent the next few months living with her sister and helping her maintain her house and take care of the kids.

Claire found the courage to do what was right because of her mother. She realized that doing what was right brought on a type of happiness that looking out for herself could never bring. She never regretted her decision. Thanks to the decision, she and her sister grew closer than they had ever been. She learned a lot and felt much better when focusing on more than just herself. She easily got her dream job later that year.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”---Albert Einstein

If you have a kid with special needs in the school system, you’re likely to have come across that saying hanging on a classroom wall. My five-year-old daughter Syona has cerebral palsy (脑瘫) and it means, combined with her communication and sight problems, that normal standard isn’t always an accurate measure of her abilities.

By now you have probably heard about Chris Ulmer, the 26-year old teacher in Jacksonville, Florida, who starts his special education class by calling up each student to give them much admiration and a high-five. I couldn’t help but be reminded of Syona’s teacher and how she supports each kid in a very similar way. Ulmer recently shared a video of his teaching experience. “I have seen their confidence increase rapidly.” he said. All I could think was: how lucky these students are to have such good teachers.

Syona’s teacher has an attitude that can best be summarized in one word: wonderful. Her teacher doesn’t focus on what can’t be done---she focuses on what can be done. Over the past several months, my husband Dilip and I have seen Syona’s confidence increase greatly. She uses words she wouldn’t have thought of using before. She recently told me about her classmates trip to Ecuador and was very proud when I understood her on the first try.

I actually wonder what the influence would be if we did something similar to what Ulmer does with his students in our home. We’ve recently started our day by reminding each other of the good qualities we all have. If we are reminded of our strengths on a regular basis, we will become increasingly confident about progress and success.

When my daughter Sara was in the fifth grade, she came to me with a problem. "Marcy hates me!" she cried. “Because Kathy is my friend. too. She wants me to be her friend and nobody else's. You talk to Marcy. You tell her that I want to be her friend, but I can have other friends, too!”

Oh! I looked at her for a few moments, wondering how I got into this mess(困境),when suddenly an idea came to me.

Picking up two baskets from the living room, I explained, "When everyone is born, he or she has a little basket. This little one here is yours. The big one is mine. As you grow, so does the basket. You can see your little basket is inside mine because when you were born, there were too many things you couldn't do for yourself. I did everything you couldn't do on your own."

She nodded.

"Well, as you grew older and began to do some things on your own, I began placing a few more things in your basket. When you learned to tie your shoes, that went in your basket."

She said softly, " I can tie my own shoes."

"Right. As you grow older, there will be more and more things you must do on your own." As I spoke, I gradually took her basket out of mine and handed it to her. "You will finally carry your own basket with things only you can do."

She looked up at me and said, "I understand. There are some things that I have to do for myself because they are in my basket."