On my first job as sports editor for the Montpelier Leader Enterprise (MLE), I didn't get a lot of fan mail, so my attention was caught by a letter on my desk one morning.

When I opened it, I read: “Sweet piece of writing on the Tigers. Keep up the good work.” It was signed by Don Wolfe, the sports editor Because I was a teenager (being paid the grand total of 15 cents a column inch), his words could not have been more inspiring, I kept the letter in my desk drawer until it got old. Whenever I doubted I had the right stuff to a writer,I would reread Don's note and walk on air again.

Later, when I got to know him, I learned that Don made a habit of   writing a quick, encouraging note to people in all walks of life, “When I make others feel good about themselves, ” he told me, “I feel good, too.”

Over the years, I've tried to copy Don and write uplifting words. In a world too often cold and unresponsive, such notes bring warmth.

Why are positive note writer in such short supply? My guess is that many who shy away from   the   practice are too self-conscious. They are afraid they will be misunderstood. Thus it may cause troubles and problems. And it sounds insincere on the phone, Also, writing takes time；it is far easier to pick up the phone.

The drawback of phone calls, of course, is that they do not last. A note attaches more importance to our well-wishing. It is a matter of record, and our words can be read more than savored (回味) and treasured, and they bring strength and love to us.

Today I sent a warm letter to my old boss. I don't know if it will make his day, but it made mine. As my friend Don Wolfe said, “Making others feel good about themselves also make me feel good too. ”

My best friend traveled to stay with our family last weekend. When she arrived, she went straight to the kitchen and, without asking, ate a spoonful of raspberry jam and some dried fruit. She wasn’t being rude. I knew she would do this. We’ve known each other for almost 20 years. She can eat anything she wants from my kitchen. Indeed, I bought her favorite fruits and snacks at the shop that morning.

Our long weekend together was luxuriously (惬意地) simple. I was recovering from surgery (手术) and couldn’t go to shopping malls. We passed the time running errands (做杂事), going to the post office and collecting dry cleaning. We drank way too many cappuccinos. But we talked about every little detail of our lives.

There’s never been a quiet moment in our friendship. We’ve lived in different cities for almost a decade. Reunions demand constant conversation. our personalities are matched, to be sure, and a shared history is indescribably valuable. We were competitors in high school before bonding over a bad experience. Then we discovered the many interests that we had in common. Our friendship cemented (巩固) itself quickly. We stayed companions through law school, through our first jobs and our first boyfriends. We supported each other through break-ups and breakthroughs. Ours is a friendship for the ages.

There is something special about friends who know everyone and everything about you. They are rare. These are the people you’ve chosen to witness your life. They have seen the bright lights of achievement, the depths of despair (绝望) and the boring routine (平淡乏味) of the in-between.

It’s special to unpack feelings and frustrations without wasting time filling in the blanks. As my long weekend shows, with such friends we don’t have to “do”, we simply have to “be”. We drop the act, the performance, the public version of ourselves.

The special friendships are those which never fail to delight, the continuation of which is worth the extra effort, despite distance and difference sneaking (溜进) into your separate lives. I had the very great joy of this reminder last weekend. I’m lucky to have found this friend, to see a future where her companionship remains. Being together is perfection.

Communication technologies are far from equal when it comes to conveying the truth. The first study to compare honesty across a range of communication media has found that people are twice as likely to tell lies in phone conversations as they are in emails. The fact that emails are automatically recorded — and can come back to haunt (困扰) you — appears to be the key to the finding.

Jeff Hancock of Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, asked 80 students to keep a communication diary for a week. In it they noted the number of conversations or email exchanges they had lasting more than 10 minutes, and confessed to how many lies they told. Hancock then worked out the number of lies per conversation for each medium. He found that lies made up 14 per cent of emails, 21 per cent of instant messages, 27 per cent of face-to-face interactions and an astonishing 37 per cent: of phone calls.

His results to be presented at the conference on human-computer interaction in Vienna, Austria, in April, have surprised psychologists. Some expected emailers to be the biggest liars, reasoning that because deception makes people uncomfortable, the detachment (非直接接触) of emailing would make it easier to lie. Others expected people to lie more in face-to-face exchanges because we are most practiced at that form of communication.

But Hancock says it is also crucial whether a conversation is being recorded and could be reread, and whether it occurs in real time. People appear to be afraid to lie when they know the communication could later be used to hold them to account, he says. This is why fewer lies appear in email than on the phone.

People are also more likely to lie in real time—in an instant message or phone call, say— than if they have time to think of a response, says Hancock. He found many lies are spontaneous (脱口而出的) responses to an unexpected demand, such as: “Do you like my dress?”

Hancock hopes his research will help companies work out the best ways for their employees to communicate. For instance, the phone might be the best medium for sales where employees are encouraged to stretch the truth. But, given his result, work assessment where honesty is a priority, might be best done using email.