Why you shouldn't punish your kids for lying

Getting your children to stop lying is challenging. There are many influences（TV，movies and video games）in which lies are common. Children see parents lie to others，if only to be polite. Most parents add to that with tales about the lives and activities of Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. 【小题1】

The most common reactions to children who lie are explaining why it is wrong and punishments. 【小题2】 Here are three better tools supported by research to use instead.

Give praise: You could ask your child to say something that happened at school that is true. When your child obeys, praise him enthusiastically. Be specific. 【小题3】 and give your child a hug or a high five. Aim for one or two interactions（互动）like this a day. If you happen to "catch" your child in a lie，say something like，“That is not true and could get you in trouble outside of the home.”

Act as a model: Explicitly（明确地）tell the truth. This could be about something that happened when you were a child or something that happened during the day. It need not be dramatic. Another option is to play a game at dinner. Each person tells one thing that was true that day. Again，give a little praise to the child who normally lies if she plays along.

Decrease punishments and moralizing（说教）：They are unlikely to change behavior or develop the conduct you want. 【小题4】 Rather，use very mild punishments（light scolding，short loss of privileges，a brief timeout）. More severe punishments（shouting，taking away something for a week，hitting）are not more effective in actually changing the frequency of lying.

【小题5】 Usually they can be dropped by then. It is unlikely that lying will be completely removed，but with the right encouragement，it can be dramatically lessened.