When parents discover their children have lied to them for the first time, it can often come as a shock to find their children are capable of such a trick. But new research has suggested many parents may not even notice many of the lies their children tell them.

Psychologists have discovered that most parents are overconfident about their children’s honesty and this may impair their ability to discover a lie. The findings may help to explain why some parents seem to be willing to let their children get away with almost anything even in the face of evidence. They say parents suffer from a “truth bias (偏见)” with their own youngsters, but when faced with lies from other people’s children, they have less difficulty telling whether a statement is true or not.

Dr Angela Evans, a psychologist at Brock University in Canada, said, “The close relationship that parents share with their own children may lead to parents’ failing to detect their children’s lies. Parents’ truth bias may result in parents’ being less doubtful about their children, allowing the children to successfully cheat them.” Most children are thought to start lying as early as two years old but start telling more believable lies at around the age of four years old. Learning how to lie is considered as a key part of cognitive (认知的) and social development in children. But many parents are shocked when their children start lying to them. In their study, Dr Evans and her colleagues filmed 108 children aged between 8 and 16 as they performed a test after being asked not to look at the answers. They were asked afterwards if they had looked, with 50 truthfully denying looking, 49 lying about looking and 9 admitting to looking.

Videos of those denying looking were then shown to 152 parents of children aged 8 to 16, 80 of whom had children who had taken part in the test. The researchers found that the parents were less able to spot lies told by their own children than by other people’s children.

When I was little, my dad would let me sit beside him on the porch while he painted. He would tell me how the cow by itself is just a cow, and the meadow by itself is just grass and flowers, and the sun peeking through the trees is just a beam of light, but put them all together and you’ve got magic.

I understood what he was saying, but I’ve never felt what he was saying until one day when I was up in the sycamore tree to rescue a kite stuck in the branches. It was a long way up, but I thought I’d give it a shot. I started climbing. Then I looked down. And suddenly I got dizzy and weak. I was miles off the ground! But the kite was still beyond my reach. I caught my breath and forced myself to concentrate on the kite as I climbed up.

When I had the kite free, I needed a minute to rest. That’s when the fear of being up so high began to lift, and in its place came the most amazing feeling that I was flying. Just soaring above the earth, sailing among the clouds.

Then I began to notice how wonderful the breeze (微风) smelled. It seemed like sunshine and wild grass and rain! I couldn’t stop breathing it in, filling my lungs again and again with the sweetest smell I’d ever known.

I never got over the view. I kept thinking of what it felt like to be up so high in that tree. I wanted to see it, to feel it, again. And again.

It wasn’t long before I wasn’t afraid of being up so high and found the spot that became my spot. I could sit there for hours, just looking out at the world. Sunsets were amazing. Some days they’d be purple and pink, some days they’d be an orange, setting fire to clouds across the horizon.

It was on a day like that when my father’s notion (观念) moved from my head to my heart. The view from my tree was more than rooftops and clouds and wind and colors combined.

And I started marveling (惊奇) at how I was feeling both humble and majestic. How was that possible? How could I be so full of peace and full of wonder?

It was magic.

Maybe you often have arguments with your parents about clothes, homework, friends and many other personal things. 【小题1】 Most teenagers must be sorry or even frightened when their parents fight. They might think their parents don’t love each other any more and that it would result in divorce.

【小题2】They might disagree about important things like jobs or major family decisions. They might even disagree about little things that don’t seem important at all—like what’s for dinner or what time someone gets home. Maybe sometimes parents can feel so strongly about their differences that it may lead to arguments. However, these arguments are often over quickly.【小题3】

As a family member, you should find out what it really means when your parents fight. When your parents get upset with each other, they might cry or say things they don’t really mean. Most people lose their cool now and then, so if your parents are fighting, don’t worry too much about it.【小题4】

If your parents’ fight really bothers you, you might find it hard to sleep or go to school.【小题5】They may not even realize how upset you are until you tell them how their arguments affect you. You can also tell other relatives, a teacher or a friend.

Just remember that no family is perfect and arguments are common in every family.