Life can sometimes go_haywire rather like the feeling you get when you've lost control of your moving car. It's a feeling of complete helplessness and panic that makes us feel overwhelmed (被压垮的).

In most cases, there is a difference between our expectations and reality. The greater the difference, the greater the feeling is of being overwhelmed. This difference is often created when our expectations are too demanding or when reality changes in a way we did not expect. Think of the weather ruining your carefully made travel plans to get across the state. Think of that illness that made you stay in bed. While we may be feeling overwhelmed with everything going on in our lives right now, there are some steps we can take to regain a sense of control of our lives.

We all know we should control our emotion properly and we can be affected greatly when we are overwhelmed, but feeling overwhelmed is part of life. When we're feeling overwhelmed, it only means we are living, breathing human beings. For life is like a roller coaster ride with its ups, downs and turns. It's also like the season with its alternating periods of relative calm and periods of varying degrees of stress and anxiety. Sometimes we forget this.

No matter how much we try, we may not be able to control reality. But we can adjust our expectations to match reality. This may mean revising our goals and tasks or quitting projects. It may feel like failure in the moment, like giving up, but this ability is an opportunity to create success in the long term. Working with reality rather than against it can give us hope.

When we're feeling overwhelmed, we can easily fall into an all­or­nothing (孤注一掷). We may overlook the things we manage to accomplish when we feel overwhelmed. But celebrating our small wins creates space for gratitude to take hold in our hearts. Trade our expectations for appreciation and our whole world changes in an instant. Celebrating wins (whatever size！) allows us to clearly see the progress we are making. Acknowledging our small bites and celebrating our wins however small makes us have a more accepting attitude toward the opportunities, the gifts and the joys in our lives.

On a summer morning, I woke up early, herded my three-and five-year-old daughters into the car, packed my friend and her two daughters into the car, and drove two hours to the New Jersey Shore, where we spread our towels on the beach by 10 a.m.

Out of nowhere, the girls took off running. About 50 yards from us, a man—maybe in his late 50s—was fishing with gigantic poles. The girls stood next to him and watched with their little mouths hanging open as he cast the lines. He smiled at them. They ran back to us — all except my three-year-old, Drew.

My brain immediately shot into Mama Bear mode: human trafficker (人贩子).

“Drew! Come here! Play with your friends!” I yelled, very aware that my speeches about not talking to strangers weren’t working. Good moms should be cautious. Good moms should teach their daughters that the world is a dangerous place. So I felt relieved when Drew trotted over to me and grabbed a shovel. Then she looked me in the eye, “I want to be with that man.” She ran back, sat down next to him, and started digging.

As I was thinking about what she was saying to him, she ran back to us, waving something very shiny and slimy. “A toy fish!” This must have been what he was using for bait. And he’d given it to Drew. The three other girls were impressed, and they all longed for the fish. Drew looked at me for help, then at the man, then back at me.

“My friend gave me that fish!” she protested. The sand turned into a preschool cage match with a yellow rubber fish flipping through the air. Tears were fast approaching. I felt like I might cry myself.

Suddenly, there he was. He was holding three more rubber fish and handed them to each of the girls. By their faces, you would have thought he was actually the really cute Jonas brother. “Thank you,” they said, without prompting.

“Thank you,” I said, realizing that yes, there is evil in the world... but there is also good, and kindness in strangers, and lessons for mothers to learn that only a three-year-old could teach them.

In 2010, I was in the Tallahassee, Florida airport waiting to fly to Indiana to see my family. My flight had been put off and I was unhappy. Then I heard a woman crying so hard.

I looked around and did not see anyone with her. People were staring at her but no one was coming up to help her. It was clear her heart was broken. My heart was broken for her. I sat next to her and placed my arm around her, but without looking at me she continued to cry.

I just sat there, held her firmly and didn't say anything. I felt a little embarrassed(难堪的) at first. She cried for about ten minutes and then she began to calm down. She looked up to see who was holding her.

She could barely speak but she got out the words, “My daughter's husband was just killed in a car accident. They were just married. Oh, my God! He was just like a son.” Then she broke down again. I said a prayer to myself that she and her family could get through the loss. Shortly after that a man came up to us and took the crying stranger by the arm and asked her to go with him. She could barely get up. He took her arm and they walked away.

I sat there thinking about what had just happened. I thought about what if that had been me or someone I love. I felt good about being there for the stranger crying. It was the right thing to do.