It is not only praise or punishment that determines a child’s level of cognition (认知). There are some other important ways we shape our kids—particularly by giving instructions and commands in a negative or positive choice of words. For example, we can say to a child “Don’t run into traffic!” or “Stay on the footpath close to me.” In using the latter, you will be helping your kids to think and act positively, and to feel competent in a wide range of situations, because they know what to do, and aren’t scaring themselves with what not to do.

Actually, it is all in the way the human mind works. When we think, we automatically practise. For example, if someone offered you a million dollars not to think of a blue monkey for two minutes, you wouldn’t be able to do it. When a child is told “Don’t fall off the tree,” he will think of two things: “don’t” and “fall off the tree”. That is, he will automatically create the picture of falling off the tree in his mind. A child who is vividly imagining falling off the tree is much more likely to fall off. So it is far better to use “Hold on to the tree carefully.”

Clear, positive instructions help kids to understand the right way to do things. Kids do not always know how to be safe, or how to react to the warning of the danger in negative words. So parents should make their commands positive. “Sam, hold on firmly to the side of the boat” is much more useful than “Don’t you dare to fall out of the boat?” or “How do you think I’ll feel if you drown?” The changes are small but the difference is obvious.

Children learn how to guide and organize themselves from the way we instruct them with our words, so it pays to be positive.

5 ways to focus your mind

1. Focus with a purpose

The mistake most people make is lacking a clear purpose -- they want to be more focused, but don’t know what for. Avoidance is the mother of distraction. If you don’t have a concrete reason to stay focused, your mind will jump from one thing to another. Training your mind to pay attention requires something to focus on. 【小题1】 When you don’t have a purpose, it’s easier to get distracted. Conversely, having a clear ‘why’ will help you stay focused.

2. Solve a real problem

Most of the times, we are doing meaningless work. We jump from one task to another without accomplishing anything. We end solving the wrong problem and lose our focus. You have to decide what your priorities are—focus on what will advance your daily, weekly or monthly goals. Learn to say no to the rest. 【小题2】. Those who lack focus are busy fighting urgent, but irrelevant fires.

3. Eliminate(消除) other options

【小题3】, it’s harder to get distracted. Create rules where you can’t start a new activity until you finished another one first. For example, in a good day, Pink leaves his office at 10-10:30. On a bad day, he might stay ‘disconnected’ until 2 or 3 PM. When you eliminate all options, it’s easier to focus on the only thing that’s left.

4. 【小题4】

When your work and your mental state are not aligned (使一致), they create an emotional disagreement. Focusing is hard, Dealing with this stressful feeling becomes an additional distraction. Adapting your work to your mental state increases your focus. Learn to understand the types of work you do and align them with your mental states.

5. Set deadlines

Deadlines are more than bringing your goals to life. Yes, committing to a specific date increases your chances to achieve an objective. However, the power of deadlines lies in creating a constraint. Limitations benefit both creativity and productivity—by challenging ourselves, we increase our focus.【小题5】.

Tablescapes (桌面景观) are creatively designed table arrangements or decorations for the center of a table, which show or highlight a specific object or collection. Usually, it’s dinner tables that are transformed into tablescapes. 【小题1】

Tableseaping allows people to express their creativity by adding a personal touch. This is often achieved through the use of valuable collections or specialized themes. 【小题2】 Themes can be based upon a particular event, season, hobby, or collection. Finding a suitable theme for tablescape displays depends on personal preference as well as the style of its surroundings.

【小题3】 Each item within a tablescape relates to other elements around it. While the objects in tablescapes do not necessarily have to match perfectly, they should stay in harmony with each other or make each other more attractive.

When it comes to organizing the selected objects for tablescapes, the easiest method is to think in terms of levels. 【小题4】 The other relatively unimportant ones include the spaces both above and below the table. Including similar or repeated items in all of these levels will help pull everything together.

When the appropriate tablescape design is carried out, the surrounding area should fit in. The highlighted table arrangement should stand out in a pleasing manner rather than looking like a mess. As everyone’s view can be different, not all tablescapes will hold the same appeal. 【小题5】 It’ll create a comfortable appearance regardless of someone else’s personal taste.