Are you always embarrassedat social events？Or do you often struggle (挣扎)to enter into conversations because you are shy？If so，your social life and career may have been influenced in some way. 【小题1】Then，you’ll be able to enter into conversations with confidence.

Behave like a social person. You can behave like a more social creature even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t allow anxiety to hold you back. Make the decision to talk to new people andenter into conversations even when you’re feeling nervous about it.【小题2】

Create goals for yourself.【小题3】Perhaps you want to practice one particular skill or maybe you want to attenda social activity in your community. Set a goal and begin to work on skills that will improve your social life.

Offer compliments (赞美)generously.【小题4】Offer your colleague a compliment on his presentation at a meeting or compliment your neighbor on his new car. Compliments can show others that you are friendly.

【小题5】There are many books on the market that can help you learn specific social skills and ways to start conversations. However，keep in mind that reading about these skills won’t make you an expert. You’ll needto practice them over andover again.

The word “motivation” comes from the Latin term motivus, “a moving cause”. It is described as the force that drives us to pursue a goal, including the desire to continue pursuing meaning, purpose, and a life worth living. It fuels competition and boosts social connection. Its absence can lead to mental illnesses such as depression.

People often have multiple motives for engaging in any one behaviour. Motivation might be extrinsic. That means a person is inspired by outside forces—other people or rewards. Anything promised for completing the task or received as a result of completing the task are extrinsic motivators. Extrinsic motivation can increase motivation in the short term, but over time it may gradually decrease.

Motivation can also be intrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes purely from within, with no expected reward, deadline, or outside pressure. For example, people who are intrinsically motivated to run do so because they love the feeling of running itself. Compared to extrinsic motivation, intrinsic motivation tends to push people more forcefully, and the achievements are more satisfying, since it is integrated into identity and serves as a continuous source of motivation.

To understand motivation, Abraham Maslow introduced the concept of hierarchy of needs (需求层次) in 1943. According to Maslow,   humans are intrinsically motivated to meet physical needs, the most fundamental ones such as needs for food. Then they gradually satisfy several levels of needs from safety, to higher-order needs for love, belonging, and self-respect, and finally move to ward expressing their full potential—self-actualization, the desire to become the most that one can be.

Although the generality of Maslow’s theory has been challenged, many believe it reveals fundamental truths about human motivation. No matter where motivation begins, there are always ways to increase it — whether that be your own motivation or someone else’s. Sometimes you might feel completely unmotivated — and that’s OK. In that situation, allow yourself to feel the discomfort, hear the negative self-talk, and then take action anyway.

If hearing the importance of good social relationships makes you think that you might not have enough, you aren’t alone, said Adam Smiley Poswolsky, workplace belonging expert and author of “Friendship in the Age of Loneliness”.

【小题1】 However, the hope of developing new friendships — or strengthening existing ones — can be disappointing. It’s frightening to think about friendship in adulthood, and the sense of defeat keeps us from even trying, Poswolsky said.

His suggestion? 【小题2】 Text a friend that you haven’t talked to for a long time, commit to meeting one new person a month, host a dinner party, or join a class. If you do just one thing, make a list of five people in your life that you care about, and give one of them a phone call. The most remarkable friendships often begin with tiniest moments of connection.

Remember that you likely won’t form a strong connection overnight. Research shows that we need 90 hours of time together to consider someone a friend and more than 200 hours to consider them a close friend that you have an emotional connection with. Poswolsky suggested that in our busy world, we should put our friendship on the calendar. 【小题3】

But studies also show that it isn’t just about having relationships. 【小题4】 Poswolsky considers that there might not be just one definition of a good friendship, but most strong relationships share some similar qualities. They tend to prioritize (区分优先次序) laughter, joy, excitement, courage, weakness and a lack of judgment.

【小题5】 They become better versions of themselves, especially when their friend is struggling or going through something hard. You know someone is a true friend when they have your back when you’re sick, when you lose your job, when you make a mistake, when you’re going through a break-up, when you’re stressed, when you’re sad.