Many people think that listening is a passive business. ‘It is just the opposite. Listening well is an active exercise of our attention and hard work. It is because they do not realize this, or because they are not willing to do the work, that most people do not listen well.

Listening well also requires total concentration upon someone else. An important part of listening well is the rule known as “bracketing”. Bracketing includes the temporary giving up or setting aside of your own prejudices and desires, to experience as far as possible someone else’s world from the inside, stepping into his or her shoes. Moreover, since listening well requires bracketing, it also needs a temporary acceptance of the other person. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will seem quite willing to open up the inner part of his or her mind to the listener. True communication is under way and the energy required for listening well is so great that it can be accomplished only by the will to extend oneself for mutual(共同的)growth.

Most of the time we lack this energy. Even though we may feel in our business dealings or social relationships that we are listening well, what we are usually doing is listening selectively. Often we have a prepared list in mind and wonder, as we listen, how we can achieve certain desired results to get the conversation over as quickly as possible or redirected in ways more satisfactory to us. Many of us are far more interested in talking than in listening, or we simply refuse to listen to what we ‘don’t want to hear.

It wasn’t until toward the end of my doctor career that I have found the knowledge that one is being truly listened to is frequently therapeutic(有疗效的). In about a quarter of the patients I saw, surprising improvement was shown during the first few months of psychotherapy(心理疗法), before any of the roots of problems had been uncovered or explained. There are several reasons for this phenomenon, but chief among them, I believe, was the patient’s sense that he or she was being truly listened to, often for the first time in years, and for some, perhaps for the first time ever.

In my second-to-last semester of college. my favorite professor announced that he would be teaching a study abroad course over the winter break in Cambodia. The more he talked about the opportunity. the more interested I became. I left class thinking I might actually do it.

My immediate excitement gave in to excuses as the weeks passed. The trip would be expensive, I would have less time to spend with my family over the break, and I hadn't really traveled before. Most of all, I was terrified of taking the risk.

On the day when I made my decision, I suddenly felt as if I had finally opened my eyes and seen myself clearly. Why was I so scared to take this chance? I had moved away from home, had almost graduated from college, and had overcome plenty of small-scale fears. How could I let fear get in the way of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Besides, I had always dreamed of traveling around the world and studying abroad was a major point on my list.

So took the challenge. I was scared but excited on the plane, and my fears faded as soon as the wheels touched the runway. I soon found myself attracted by ancient mountaintop temples. I spent my days teaching poor orphans(孤儿) simple English, learned little Khmer myself, and became an expert at avoiding terrible traffic and bargaining with Cambodian store owners.

By the end of my stay, I had fallen in love with travel, exploration and life of daily wonders.

My experience in Cambodia was incredible and life-changing. I came back and became a different person, but a better one: a better friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend and student. I came back and became a grown woman instead of a young girl.

After Cambodia, my life clicked into place. Before the trip, I hadn't known what I wanted to do after graduation. Now am planning on teaching English abroad as a volunteer. I am still amazed by my experience and thankful for everything it taught me. I now have a passion for overcoming fears, big or small, and have new faith in myself.