As parents, we walk a fine line between caring for our children and teaching them how to care for themselves. When they're little, they need our help with everything. Over time, kids usually take the lead on things like feeding and dressing themselves, but it can be difficult to know when it's time for them to start doing some basic things, such as packing their own lunches for school or solving problems with teachers without a parent's help.

Blogger Amy Carney recently shared a post about the things parents should stop doing for their teens. In it, Carney shared the basic skills that she expects her kids to master by the time they hit 13, such as waking themselves up in the morning, making their own breakfast and lunch, and finishing their own homework.

Barb Harvey, a childhood behavior expert, gave me her answer: The age at which children learn to master certain skills will be different depending upon the maturity (成熟) and interest level of the child.

I asked the same question among my friends. They gave all kinds of answers, which can explain Harvey's opinion.

Therefore, there's only one expert who can determine when your kids have the ability to deal with certain skills, and that's you. If your kids aren't ready to pack their own lunches — don't sweat it. Help them learn the skills they're ready to deal with and keep working towards the end goal of raising responsible and able adults. Because if there's one thing that we can all agree on as parents, it's that time moves quickly when you're raising kids. One day you will wish they could just do things without you and the next day, you will feel upset that they do.

I was an only child in the baby boom of the 1960s. I was upset about this and always admired my friend——Jessica. One day I went on holiday with her family. I remember she slammed her bedroom door after a tearful quarrel over a packet of biscuits that had been unfairly distributed. I was supposed to see the misery of her life as the second child of four, but all I could see was drama and excitement.

Nowadays, many single children have more than one child themselves, while those people who have one child most came from big families. It indicates a basic truth about human nature: we often want what we don’t have.

Of course, I have three children. To my annoyance, my children do a lot of grappling and nosily compete for attention. However, in the immediate aftermath (创伤) of inter-sibling (兄弟姐妹间的) slanging (漫骂) match, I often hear my daughter singing in her bedroom . Something has finished as soon as it gets started.

As for the disturbing situation, I turned to my workmate, who is married to an only, she told me, “My husband had no idea of the kids’ arguments. I had five siblings, and everything was up for grabs when I was growing up. So when my son and daughter fight, it’s water off a duck’s back.”

Parents who are only children think we have the power to fix the fight among children, and then find it unimaginably frustrating when we can’t. We often make the situation worse by over-responding to arguments. The psychologist Linda Blair, author of Birth Order, argues that it can be “very tricky” in families where both parents are only children, and that it can sometimes lead to “very anxious households”. If one parent has experience of sibling behavior, he or she can offer advice when irritation arises.

Dancing with your grandma for 15 minutes a week promotes positive feelings and improves her state of mind, a study claims. Doctors from Israel are urging younger family members to have a regular visit to their grandmas and have a dance with their grandmas.

And they found a 15 minute boogie (布吉舞) once a week lifted the spirits of the elder family members and helped strengthen the familial bond. In fact, it is called Dance Movement Therapy (DMT). DMT across the generations, complete with eye contact, was found to promote positive feelings and improve mood for the elderly.

The grandparents reported a bright state of mind, happy memories and uplifted spirits. Dancing has also previously been linked to improved muscle strength, balance and endurance (耐). For the grandchildren in the study, the weekly boogie changed how they view ageing and allowed them to come to accept the eventual death of their elderly relative.

The study, published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, assessed how dance affected the well-being of 16 dance movement therapists (治疗师) and their grandmothers. Dance movement therapy was paid attention due to the fact that it is easily accessible and does not cost more to practice. The researchers were eager to examine a low-cost method to treat issues commonly faced by an ageing population, such as limited mobility and depression. Grandchildren were instructed to make eye contact and encourage playfulness and touch. They were also told to mirror their grandmothers’ movements and give them time and space to rest when needed.

The sessions were recorded and then analysed while diaries and interviews captured the opinions and feelings of the participants. As well as the benefits to the health of the senior, the experiment also changed the idea of the younger family members.