"We must learn not to take traditional morals（道德）too seriously." So said the biologist J. B. S. Haldane in a 1923 talk on science and the future. Haldane forecasted that scientific progress would destroy every belief and value. The future would be bright only "if mankind can adjust its morality to its powers". Haldane had a point: our powers have led to challenges that have never existed before. Climate change is a threat unlike any we have ever seen. Our machines might become smarter than us. Genetic engineering（基因工程）could change humanity forever.

In the face of such challenges, our evolved moral sense often proves not enough. Part of the problem is scale（规模）.The anthropologist Robin Dunbar says we can keep no more than about 150 meaningful relationships at once. But today, all 7 billion of us are connected—if not in meaningful relationships, not in meaningless ones, either. “Society" is now too big a concept for our brains to analyze.

One result is conflicting demands that are hard to solve. The bad situation of our fellow humans makes us use every possible way to deal with climate change. But that could hurt our own way of life. And then there's the urge to just forget all that pressure and get on a plane to somewhere sunny. Given this cognitive（认知的）overload, our original emotional responses tend to win out. We do what feels right. But such responses don't necessarily produce the best results. So how can we make sure we do what really is right?

It's a hard nut, but never fear: moral philosophers are on the case. Some, such as those based at the Centre for Effective Altruism in Oxford, UK, aim to maximize the good we can do by quantifying the results of our actions. Many of their suggestions have raised eyebrows: that it may be better to become a generous banker than work for a charity, for example.

Others suggest modifying our moral brains directly, through drugs. The difficulties with this idea are obvious: who decides what makes improvement? Given the practical difficulties of large-scale morality hacking（入侵），we should perhaps stick to education. We are not simply prisoners of our emotions: we can reason our way to workable solutions. Science alone will not get us there. So no, we shouldn't take traditional morality too seriously where it fails to address modern problems.

“Runners, to your mark, Get set…” Bang! And I was off, along with a bunch of other teenage cross-country runners from high schools across the county. The day was like any other fair-weather autumn day in Maryland. But the race that day felt unique from the get-go. For one thing, I liked the course. It was my team’s home course, one I was used to running during practices. It took runners along an area of land that included open fields, hills and even winding dirt paths through a small forest. It was a beautiful 5-kilometer course. This particular race was our team’s invite, and I was proud to be sharing the course with competitors from other schools. It also meant a lot―more than normal that my parents were there to cheer me on.

With so much to expect that day, I was ready to run! And I didn’t want to be stuck with the pack of other runners, as is typical at the beginning of most cross-country races. So when the gun sounded, I took off running, leaving everyone else in the dust.

The first part of our course followed the outside edge of a large open field before disappearing into the forest. Within seconds of the start, I was far ahead of everyone, and all of the fans could see it. It felt magnificent.

But that feeling didn’t last long. Little did I know my coach was laughing to himself, thinking, “Gabe is done for!” And I was. My body was telling me to slow down. My pride, however, said “No! Not until you’re out of sight of the spectators!” I was in agony, but I kept up my pace until I reached the forest. Once in among the trees. I slowed way down.

I enjoyed most races, even while pushing myself, but this one was not enjoyable in the least. I finished the race, but in nowhere near the time I could have if I’d paced myself well from the beginning. Every time I reflect on that cross-country season, I’m reminded of something: Pride is no substitute for pace.

How To Roll Back Over-Responsibility

Being overly responsible can be a hard habit to break -- it gets stronger externally by those who depend on you, and stronger internally because you feel competent and get to avoid conflict. But you’ll know when it’s getting to be too much. 【小题1】. Instead, try these three tips.

Return responsibilities.

Return responsibilities as if they were overdue library books. Start by thinking of one task you can return to one specific person. It may be as small as returning the responsibility of waking up on time to your teenager, or as large as returning responsibility for her own happiness to your mother. 【小题2】, it’s time to pass it back.

Accept all offers.

【小题3】. Accept a praise, accept tomatoes from your neighbor’s garden without worrying that now you have to give her a potato. Best of all, accept offers of help. 【小题4】. Instead, think of it as a way to share the feeling of competence that makes you feel so good. Then, once you’re comfortable accepting help, you can go further by asking for help.

Shift your sense of responsibility from saving others to launching others.

Consider the beliefs that keep you over-responsible. 【小题5】, it implies you think others are incompetent, or at least less competent than you. Therefore, consider giving up over-responsibility as helping others develop their skills. Especially when it comes to kids, you want to launch them into the world ready to fly, not keep them tied to you.