My mom is about to have a spinal operation. The operation is relatively minor, but does carry a risk of paralysis. Friends and family have reacted to this news by taking in such pessimistic terms that Mom has come to label this kind of talk as “psychological theft”. It occurs when other people increase your anxiety rather than provide comfort.

Last week Mom went to the post office and ran into Geoff who works for the local school. “How are you?” he asked. “Not great,” she replied. “I’ve been having some trouble with my back and I’m going to need an operation.” “Oh, the back is the most dangerous place to operate on!” he responded. “My mom had that and she was in terrible pain. Make sure you get all your affairs in order before you go under the knife — it takes months to get over it!” Geoff’s intention had been benign. He’d given his own mother’s story to show sympathy. However, Mom only heard pain, danger, knife, and months.

In the past few weeks, Mom’s mates and colleagues have told her stories about how their Auntie Trisha, who had just received an operation, was left speechless after hearing that she required a rapid follow-up operation; and how their neighbor, who had only a minor operation, never walked again.

It’s really not that difficult to think of alternative things they could have said that would be equally true, but more beneficial to patients to hear. “The specialists in our hospitals are among the best in the world. It’s amazing what they can do these days!” — that’s a good one. “You’re going to feel much better afterward.”— that’s another.

I’m not suggesting patients should be sheltered from the reality of the risks they’re taking. But if the decision to have an operation can’t really be avoided, what’s the purpose of underlining the drawbacks? It’s just common sense to say: “Get well soon, and how can I help?”

Self-confidence is connected with almost every aspect of a happy and fulfilling life. 【小题1】

If you have been lacking in confidence, you’re probably familiar with over thinking 【小题2】 But by being confident, you will be able to break the cycle of over-thinking,

【小题3】 If you have ever learned a language, mastered a skill, reached a fitness goal, or otherwise overcome setbacks to get to where you wanted to be, you’re well on your way.

You might be thinking, “Well, sure, I was proud of my ‘A’ in Calculus back in high school, but what does that have to do with anything now?” Looking back on your life, you’ll possibly find that every accomplishment takes efforts. 【小题4】

As your confidence grows, you’ll find yourself more driven to improve your abilities. 【小题5】 But with self-assurance, those thoughts will no longer be paralyzing (令人麻痹的). Instead, you’ll be able to smile and act anyway, feeling energized by your progress in achieving goals which mean something to you.

Mr. Boswell, the owner of a hardware (五金制品) store, was looking for a young man to hire. Several dozen young men responded to his ad, but he eventually narrowed his choice down to three. They are Ted, John and Bob. Then he devised (设计) a final test. He gave each of them a new screwdriver (螺丝刀) with an innovative (创新的) design and told them to deliver it to Mr. Henderson at 314 Maple Street.

After a while, Ted phoned the store to ask whether the number was actually 413, rather than 314. Later, he returned saying there was no house at that address.

When John came back, he reported that 314 Maple was a funeral parlor (殡葬馆) and that Mr. Henderson had lived at 314, but had moved away.

Bob took longer than the other two young men. Like John, he also discovered that Mr. Henderson had moved away but he managed to make sure of his new address and had gone there. Mr. Henderson didn’t remember ordering the screwdriver, but when Bob pointed out its unique features and told him the price, Mr. Henderson decided he wanted the screwdriver and paid for it on the spot.

Who was hired? Bob, of course. He was given a task to do and he did it. We shouldn’t let any difficulty put in our paths and stop us from reaching our goals. The secret to success in our lives is to do the common things uncommonly well. Persistence (坚持) and patience produces payoff in our lives. Even when it doesn’t appear to do so, it produces a payoff in character.