When you hear "I have a dream...", one of the most famous speeches in human history, you'll never have the idea how the audience on the scene were fueled by emotional intelligence. When Martin Luther King. Jr. presented his dream, he chose language that would stir the hearts of his audience. Delivering this electrifying(震撼性的) message required emotional intelligence- the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions .

Emotional intelligence has been highly recommended by leaders, policymakers, and educators as the solution to a wide range of social problems. Emotional intelligence is important, but the uncontrolled enthusiasm has obscured (掩盖)a dark side. New evidence shows that when people sharpen their emotional skills, they become better at controlling others. When you're good at controlling your out emotions, you can hide your true feelings. When you know what others are feeling, you can motivate them to act against their own best interests.

Social scientists have begun to document this dark side of emotional intelligence. In a research led by University of T or onto professor Jochen Menges, when a leader gave an inspiring speech filled with emotion, the audience was less likely to scrutinize (细察) the message and remembered the content. Ironically(讽刺的是), audience members were so moved by the speech that they claimed to recall more of it.

The authors call this the awestruck effect, but it might just as easily be described as the dumbstruck effect. One observer reflected that Hitler's persuasive impact came from his ability to strategically express emotions- -he would" tear open his heart"- and these emotions affected his followers to the point that they would "stop thinking critically and just emote.

Leaders who master emotions can rob us of our abilities to reason. If their values are out of step with our out, the results can be destructive. New evidence suggests that when people have self-serving motives, emotional intelligence becomes a weapon for controlling others.

Throwing light on this dark side of emotional intelligence is one mission of a research teamed by University College London professor Martin Kilduff. According to these experts, emotional intelligence helps people disguise (伪装) one set of emotions while expressing another for personal gain. Professor Kilduff's team writes,“ The strategic disguise of one's own emotions and the controlling of others' emotions for strategic ends are behaviors evident not only on Shakespeare's stage but also in the offices and corridors where power and influence are traded."

Of course, people aren't always using emotional intelligence for nefarious ends. More often than not, high EQ is helpful in most aspects of our life. Emotional intelligence- -like any skill- can be used for good or evil. So whether it is a gift or a curse lies in your hand.

The Million Pound Bank Note

Act I, Scene 4

(Outside a restaurant Henry looks at the envelope without opening it and decides to go in. He sits down at a table next to the front window.)

OWNER:   (seeing Henry's poor appearance) That one's reserved. This way, please. (to the waiter) Take this gentleman's order, Horace.

HENRY:     (after sitting down and putting the letter on the table) I'd like some ham and eggs and a nice big steak. Make it extra thick. I'd also like a cup of coffee and a pineapple   dessert.

WAITER:   Right, sir. I'm afraid it'll cost a large amount of money.

HENRY:    I understand. And I'll have a large glass of beer.

WAITER:   OK. (The waiter leaves and soon returns with all the food.)

HOSTESS:  My goodness! Why, look at him. He eats like a wolf.

OWNER:   We'll see if he's clever as a wolf, eh?

HENRY:   (having just finished every bit of food) Ah, waiter. (waiter returns) Same thing again, please. Oh, and another beer.

WAITER:   Again? Everything?

HENRY:    Yes, that's right. (sees the look on the waiter's face) Anything wrong?

WAITER:   No, not at all. (to the owner) He's asked for more of the same.

OWNER:   Well, it is well-known that Americans like to eat a lot. Well, we'll have to take a chance. Go ahead and let him have it.

WAITER:   (reading the bill after the meal) All right. That's two orders of ham and eggs, two extra thick steaks, two large glasses of beer, two cups of coffee and two desserts.

HENRY:    (looking at the clock on the wall) Would you mind waiting just a few minutes?

WAITER:   (in a rude manner) What's there to wait for?

OWNER:   All right, Horace. I'll take care of this.

HENRY:    (to owner) That was a wonderful meal. It's amazing how much pleasure you get out of title simple things in life, especially if you can't have them for a while.

OWNER:   Yes, very interesting. Now perhaps, sir, if you pay your bill I can help the other customers.

HENRY:    (looking at the clock on the wall again) Well, I see it's two o'clock. (he opens the envelope and holds a million pound bank note in his hands. Henry is surprised but the owner and waiter are shocked) I'm very sorry. But ... I ... I don't have anything smaller.

OWNER:   (still shocked and nervous) Well .. er ... just one moment. Maggie, look! (the hostess screams, the other customers look at her and she puts a hand to her mouth) Do you think it's genuine?

HOSTESS:  Oh, dear, I don't know. I simply don't know.

OWNER:   Well, I did hear that the Bank of England had issued two notes in this amount ... Anyway, I don't think it can be a fake. People would pay too much attention to a bank note of this amount. No thief would want that to happen.

HOSTESS: But he's in rags!

OWNER:   Perhaps he's a very strange, rich man. (as if he has discovered something for the first time) Why, yes! That must be it!

HOSTESS: (hits her husband's arm) And you put him in the back of the restaurant! Go and see him at once.

OWNER:   (to Henry) I'm so sorry, sir, so sorry, but I cannot change this bank note.

HENRY:    But it's all I have on me.

OWNER:   Oh, please, don't worry, sir. Doesn't matter at all. We're so very glad that you even entered our little eating place. Indeed, sir, I hope you'll come here whenever you like.

HENRY:    Well, that's very kind of you.

OWNER:   Kind, sir? No, it's kind of you. You must come whenever you want and have whatever you like. Just having you sit here is a great honour! As for the bill, sir, please forget it.

HENRY:    Forget it? Well ... thank you very much. That's very nice of you.

OWNER:   Oh, it's for us to thank you, sir and I do, sir, from the bottom of my heart. (The owner, hostess and waiter all bow as Henry leaves.)

Not all of us were born pretty or handsome! You maybe hope for a good look, but this has nothing to do with your weight, size, shape or skin. A good look takes cultivating（培养）what’s within you. Here are a few tips on how to begin.

We’re paying more attention to our appearance than our mind. If we spent half as much time noticing our mind, we would be a lot healthier in mind. Think about how much time the fashion industry pays to make you believe that you should invest（投资）in your mind—know your value and change your world.

How do you take care of your mind? You can do it by spending time learning who you are and what your advantages are. Find your advantages and you Ml become fearless. Make use of the gifts you’ve been given. Be modest, friendly and generous. Work hard and realize your dream.

Pay more attention to those people who’re most important in your life: those you love. Don’t focus on（集中）your size or weight. Don’t let it steal time that should be spent on those who you love because you are preoccupied with all the disadvantages. Say good-bye to the old way and try something new. Run a marathon, write a poem, play an instrument or talk with a loved one. Don’t look at someone at the sports center, on the magazine or the models on the beach to judge yourself.

Only one thing is necessary to be against the rules that require we should be thin to be valued. We should have a choice to live, really live a full and colorful life where you’re satisfied with who you are, not how you look.