We are now having face-to-face chats with friends instead of talking online. But have you ever been in a conversation that you wish you could run away from? Scientists have proved that you might not be alone.

A research team surveyed 806 participants about a recent conversation they had with someone close to them. The participants were asked about the actual length and their expected length of the conversation, and how long they thought the other person wanted to talk for.

About one-third of the conversation length was unwanted, according to the team’s paper published in the journal PNAS. Also, more participants believed that they wanted to end the conversation first. On average, they continued talking for 3.87 minutes before they found that the other speaker wished the same thing. Situations are similar when it comes to strangers. Only about 1.6 percent of the conversations ended when both parties wanted them to.

The paper pointed out that when they talk to strangers, what makes people “mask their desires” may be their politeness. When talking to close friends and family, it may be their kindness as ending the chat too soon may hurt the other’s feelings.

So, what is the best way to end a conversation? Saying you only have a certain amount of time to talk at the start of the chat is a good place to start. “Remember conversations don’t end because people don’t know when the other person wants to go,” Adam Mastroianni who led the study told the Inverse website. You should make your partner feel good about the end of the chat by “clearly communicating that you had a nice time and would like to talk again”.

Mastroianni also suggested that the difficulty in ending conversations may be a “coordination (协调) problem”. It’s hard to tell your grandma you want to get off the phone just because you want the conversation to be over, for example.

However, in some ways, this dilemma (困境) may not be a bad thing. People need social connections, and conversation is a good way to make these connections happen.

Researchers set up an experiment in which 5-year-olds were tested with their fellows under different circumstances of transparency (透明) and different audiences. They set up a sticker machine that in some settings was transparent, and other settings in which only the giver of stickers knew how many stickers he could give. They had children give out stickers in both settings. The results were striking: children were consistently generous only when the receiver and audience of the stickers were fully aware of the donation options. Children were notably ungenerous when the receiver of stickers couldn’t see the options.

The researchers said, “Children only showed consistently pro-social behavior in our study in the condition when they could see the receiver and their allocations (分配物) were fully visible; in all other conditions, children were statistically ungenerous, giving the receiver the smaller amount of stickers.”

They made the conclusions that at a very early age, children are learning how to position themselves socially. Well before they apprehend the sociology of their networks and what social reputation really means, they think strategically about giving as a function of how they can gain a reputation with a peer as a generous citizen or pro-social agent when the receiver observes them.

Children change their behavior in response to having an audience. Help children give to others in full view, delivering meals to families, and in private, dropping off treats or surprises for those who need support without signing their names. Also, children should be reminded that thank-you notes are lovely but unnecessary to receive. When we give gifts or lend help to others, try to help children remember why—to provide something for another. It really doesn’t have to be recognized. When a thank-you card doesn’t come, it doesn’t make a gift any less valuable or meaningful for those who were lucky enough to receive.

We have most friends at the age of 26 after having spent the first quarter of our lives building up our friendship circle, a new research has claimed.

The research into friends hip shows that our social circle peaks at 26 years and 7 months, at which we typically have five close friends. Women are most popular at 25 years and 10 months, with men hitting the highest friendship point a little later at 27 years and 3 months.

The research, by Forever Friends, shows that about a third of adults meet their closest friends when at school, with about a fifth saying they meet them at work.

Social networks such as Facebook and Twitter now also play a major role in building new friendship. The research points out that 25 to 34-year-olds make 22 friends via Facebook, compared to 18 to 24-year-olds who make 12, and 35 to 44-year-olds who make just 4.

Forever Friends’ relationship coach Sam Owen says, “It is no coincidence that over a third of us meet our best friends at school. It is a key time in our lives when friendship is growing through sharing notes, giving gifts, seeing each other regularly and laughing a lot. As adults we can often forget how powerful these small things are and how the little things can make a difference.”

Later in life we find ourselves losing friends. Over half of us lose friendship through moving, while 36% say that over time they grow apart from close pals. Having children also causes 19% to drift away from childhood friends.

With growing pressures being put on friendship these days, it’s important to make time for our friendship.