According to a new US study, couples who expect their children to look after them in old age should hope they have daughters because daughters are twice as attentive as sons overall.

The research by Angelina Grigoryeva, from Princeton University, found that, while women provide as much care for their elderly parents as they can manage, men do as little as they can to get away with and often leave it to female family members.

Her analysis of the family networks of 26,000 old Americans concluded that gender (性别) is one of the most important things that decide whether or not people will actively care for their elderly parents.

In a paper presented at the annual conference of the American Sociological Association in San Francisco, she concludes that simply having a sister makes men likely provide less care. Using data from the University of Michigan Health and Retirement Study, a study which has been tracking a cross-section of over 50s for the last decade, she calculated that women provide an average of 12.3 hours a month of care for elderly parents while men offer only 5.6 hours.

"Sons reduce their relative caregiving efforts when they have a sister, while daughters increase theirs when they have a brother."

"This suggests that sons pass on parent caregiving responsibilities to their sisters."

In the UK, the 2011 Census (人口普查) showed that there are now around 6.5 million people with caring responsibilities, a figure which has risen by a tenth in a decade.

But many are doing so at the risk of their health. The census showed that those who provide 50 hours or more of care a week while trying to hold down a full time job are three times more likely to be struggling with ill health than their working counterparts (同事) who are not carers.

When I was teaching, we talked a lot about high vs. low-stakes (风险) writing. Recently, I’ve been thinking about friendships the same way—high and low-stakes friendships. Since the stakes might be different for men and women, will limit this discussion to women’s friendships with men and women. 【小题1】

Friendships are high stakes when they are intimate (亲密的). 【小题2】 We also depend on the other person for support in difficult times; advice in times of conflict, and sympathy in times of regret. We feel “known” by them. The loss of a high-stakes friend is painful: it has a noticeable impact on our lives.

Low-stakes friendships, on the other hand, are more casual and limited emotionally. We may play bridge or tennis together; go out for dinner with our partners. 【小题3】 We don’t share any feelings or experiences that would make us feel emotionally fragile and we do not talk about feelings toward each other. The loss of a low-stakes friend may be regrettable, but it does not leave any mark in our lives.

According to Professor Harry Stack Sullivan, the first high-stakes friendship is typically formed in pre-adolescence with friend of the same sex, a “chum” (密友). Chumship is a relationship in which the other person’s interest and security become as important as one’s own.

【小题4】 The preadolescent who successfully enters a chumship finds someone with whom she can share her innermost thoughts and feelings. To her chum, she can reveal what she feels to be the most terrible things about herself in an atmosphere of acceptance. Successful chumships offer an opportunity to work through disagreements and learn to compromise. 【小题5】

Victor’s hobby was collecting stamps. He had stamps from many countries, like England, Canada and China. On his birthday, can you guess what people gave him? That’s right—stamps.

Victor’s favorite stamps came from France. He had almost every stamp from 1954 to 2004. He only needed one. That was a 1974 special edition*. It was very hard to find.

He looked for it everywhere. He asked his friends and relatives to help him. But nobody could find the stamp. It made Victor very sad.

“Don’t worry. Never give up,” his father said to him. “If you have enough patience, you’ll find it one day.”

“I hope so,” Victor said.

Victor also liked writing. He had a pen friend in France. They wrote to each other every month. Victor’s pen friend, Phillip, usually used new stamps to send letters. Sometimes, his mother gave him stamps to use. Once Phillip’s mother gave him a big, green stamp. It looked old. When Victor received the letter, he was very surprised. On the envelope, he looked carefully at the stamp. It was the 1974 special edition stamp. Victor was so happy. He told his sister, his mother and his father.

“You see,” his father said. “You did find your stamp. So, it’s good to have two things in life. ”

“What are they?” Victor asked.

“Friends and patience.” He answered.