Asking the right questions is basically the magic key to any kind of personal or professional development. But it can be hard for many people. 【小题1】

Start by asking yourself

The most important aspect is to actually start by asking yourself the right kind of questions. 【小题2】 These are often “how” questions such as “How can I make a better job?” Avoid asking questions which focus on why you're in such a bad situation and absolutely ignore the possibility of a solution, for examples, “Why can't I be lucky for once?”

【小题3】

Once you've managed to ask yourself the right questions, it's time to focus on whom to address it to. To promote effective learning, you need to ask the right people. These are people who have gone before you and who have achieved what you want to achieve. It doesn't have to be in person. Reading their books and wondering “What made them successful?” is also a great way to start.

Ask open-ended questions

It's important to phrase your questions the right way. That means asking open-ended questions. 【小题4】 So by asking open-ended questions, you allow them to share as much as possible. Great open-ended questions are: “how did you achieve (a milestone)?” “what are the best tools to be successful?” Make sure to enter your specific goal or their success in those questions.

Focus on the solution

【小题5】 Your subconscious will automatically guide you towards what you're focusing on. If you're focusing on what could go wrong, you'll end up right there! If you focus on solutions and see struggles as opportunities to learn more, you'll always find solutions for any kind of problem. So, asking the right questions is all about being solution-oriented and focusing on the opportunities rather than the risks.

“Today I will give you a special test,” said the English teacher with a smile on his face. All the students sat up straight and waited for the test to begin.

The teacher began to give the test papers to all the students. After he finished handing out the test papers, he asked them to begin.

The students were very surprised to see that there was not a question but a black dot(圆点) in the centre of the paper. The teacher noticed the students' surprise and said, “I want you to write about what you see there.” At the end of the class, the teacher took all the students' answer sheets and read the answers. All of them described the black dot. After reading all the answers, the teacher said, “Here everyone only paid attention to the black dot, but no one wrote about the white paper.” The whole class listened silently, because they were afraid to fail the exam. Then the teacher said, “Don't worry about your marks for this test. I just want you to think about your life. The white paper is like your whole life and the black dot in the centre of the paper represents(代表) problems in your daily life. Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care. However, we just pay attention to the problems like illness and poverty, and never see happy things in our life. So we should try to solve our problems and enjoy each moment life gives us.”

I am a working woman with a secret life: I keep house.An off-an-on lawyer and professor in public,in private I launder and clean,cook and devote serious time and energy to a domestic（家务的）routine,not so different from my grandmothers did as "housewives."When I want a good read,I reach for my collection of old housekeeping handbooks.I enjoy housekeeping and the comforts it provides.

I have almost entirely hidden this passion for housekeeping though I am writing a long story about it.No one meeting me for the first time would doubt that I spend my time knitting and remembering household facts.I knew I would not want this information about me to get around.After all,I belong to the first generation of the women who worked more than they stayed home.

Being viewed as over domestic can get you socially ostracized.When I made hand-rolled pasta（意大利面）for a dinner,I learned the hard way that some guests will find this annoying,as they do not feel comfortable eating a meal that they regard as the product of too much trouble.When my son was in nursery school,I made the mistake of spending a few hours sewing for him a Halloween dressing,receiving hard stares of many fellow parents who had bought a Batman or Esmeralda costume.Many times my courage in writing the story failed me when painful silences followed my confession（坦白）about the long book,"NO,not a history of housework,an explanation of it—a practical book on how you make the bed and make a comfortable home."I managed to hold on partly because not everyone responded with that stare;there was support as well.And I was struck that no one responded with coldness.The topic was clearly hot-too hot for some people to handle,heartwarming to others.