Parents often believe that they have a good relationship with their teenagers. But last summer, Joanna and Henry noticed a change in their older son. Suddenly he seemed to be talking far more to his friends than to his parents. “The door to his room is always shut.” Joanna noted.

Tina and Mark noticed similar changes in their 14-year-old daughter. “She used to sit in my arms on the sofa and talk with me,” said Mark. “Now we joke that she does this only when she wants something. Sometimes she wants to be treated like a little girl and sometimes like a young lady. The problem is figuring out which time is which.”

Before age 11, children like to tell their parents what’s on their minds. “In fact, parents are first on the list.” said Michael Riera, author of Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers. “This completely changes during the teen years.” Riera explained. “They talk to their friends first, then maybe their teachers, and their parents last.”

Parents who know what’s going on in their teenagers’ lives are in the best position to help them. To break down the wall of silence, parents should create chances to understand what their children want to say, and try to find ways to talk and write to them. And they must give their children a mental (思想的) break, for children also need freedom, though young. Another thing parents should remember is that to be a friend, not a manager, with their children is a better way to know them.

To those normal kids, it’s not unusual to hear “Goodnight” when you kiss them, saying “Goodnight” to them. For most parents, it’s just a storm in a teacup. However, for me it’s opposite.

My son James, suffered from the autism spectrum disorder (ASD), a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. Some people with ASD may have advanced conversation skills whereas James is an exception.

Pre-diagnosis, I’d give James a big kiss and whisper goodnight when putting James to bed. Post-diagnosis, the silence that I received in return was deafening. It had never occurred to me before to be concerned that when I said “Goodnight, James. I love you”, my toddler said nothing in response.

I needed to hear him say something. My husband and I began to promote James to say goodnight back to us. “Say goodnight, Mommy.” For over a year, “Say goodnight, Mommy” was the parting routine of the day. Every night, it made me cry. I never got used to it. But I never gave up hope.

With more efforts, one night, I’d hear something more organic come out of James’s mouth. He dropped the “say”— and his response became “goodnight, Mommy” when James turned four. It was fantastic — but it was still prompted. At six, I got my first unprompted, “Goodnight, Mommy. I love you.” Next to my wedding, and births of my children, this was the most exciting night of my life.

James, now eight, routinely kisses us goodnight and tells us he loves us. The other evening, after giving me a big hug and kiss, James told me, “You’re a great mom! You’re not a mom with feathers, or a mom with colors and markers. I’m glad you’re a... a person!” I don’t know if he had the book Are You My Mother? on his mind, or if this was just one of the many random thoughts that crossed my son’s brain on a daily basis. I do know it was music to my ears.

On March 25, 2010, Kate and David Ogg heard the words every parent fears: Their newborn wasn’t going to make it. Their twins — a girl and a boy — were born two minutes apart and exactly 14 weeks premature, weighing just over two pounds respectively. Doctors had tried to save the boy for 20 minute but saw no improvement. His heartbeat was nearly gone, and he’d stopped breathing. The baby had just moments to live.

“I saw him gasp (大口喘气), but the doctor said it was no use,” Kate told the Daily Mail five years later. “I know it sounds stupid, but if he was still gasping, that was a sign of life. I wasn’t going to give up easily.”

Still, the Sydney couple knew this was likely goodbye. In an effort to cherish her last minutes with the tiny boy, Kate asked to hold him.

“I wanted to meet him, and for him to know us,” Kate told Today. “We’d resigned ourselves the fact that we were going to lose him, and we were just trying to make the most of those last, precious moments.”

Kate unwrapped the boy, whom the couple had already named Jamie, from his hospital blanket and ordered David to take his Shirt off and join them in bed. The first-time parents wanted their son to be as warm as possible and hoped the skin-to-skin contact would improve his condition they then talked to him.

“We were trying to let him stay, ” Kate told the Daily Mail. “We explained his name and that he had a twin that he had to look out for and that how hard we had tried to have him.”

Then something unbelievable happened. Jamie gasped again and then he started breathing. Finally, he reached for his father’s finger.

The couple’s lost boy had made it.

“We’re the luckiest people in the world,” David told Today. Eight years later, Jamie and his sister, Emily, are happy and healthy. The Oggs only recently told the kids the story of their birth. “Emily hardy-held back her tears,” Kate said, “and she kept hugging Jamie with great affection. This whole experience makes you cherish them more.” “They widened their eyes as if there were an apple in their mouths bearing the miraculous experience,” David added.