After graduating from college, Tan Minyan decided to become a cemetery custodian (守墓人).

“With four colleagues, I don’t need to worry about any complicated relationships,” the 22-year-old girl shared on her Sina Weibo. “Moreover, my office, dormitory (宿舍) and canteen are in the same building, the pace of work is slow and I almost feel as if I have retired early.” Her decision has caused heated discussion on social media in November about how young people nowadays can deal with social anxiety and benefit from genuine interpersonal relationships.

According to the survey by China Youth Daily, more than 80 percent of the nearly 5,000 college students questioned said they bad mild social anxiety disorder. The disorder surfaces most frequently when speaking in front of large groups, communicating with strangers and asking for favors.

Cheng Qiang, who works for a media group in Beijing, is one of them. The 29-year-old young man told China Daily he started having social anxiety disorder in middle school. To avoid contact with coworkers, Cheng often wore a mask even when going to the toilet or kitchen so he would encounter fewer people.

“The disorder becomes more severe when I am around people who know me but are not close,” he told China Daily. “Their attention makes me nervous, and I don’t know how to respond.”

Wang Wenda, a psychology lecturer, found that most of the people who suffer from social anxiety are introverted (内向的), la ck confidence or social skills, or have suffered traumatic (生成创伤的) interpersonal relationships. Wang also believes that the disorder is not trivial. It may lead to panic attacks and other psychological problems as a result of a lack of contact with other people.

According to China Daily, Wang’s suggested solution was as follows: People with social anxiety disorder should go out and expose themselves to more social gatherings and practice their social skills, adding that through greater social experience and small successes in social encounters, they will reap the benefits of having a real social life and come to enjoy positive interpersonal relations.

It is so easy to just go home and shut your door without getting to know your neighbors. But being an active neighbor will turn your living place into a kinder and more caring neighborhood.

【小题1】. You don’t have to show up with a fresh apple pie or anything like that. It’s truly as simple as saying hello, introducing yourself and asking a few open-ended questions. But they are the first step to becoming a kind neighbor.

Then get out of your comfort zone and make efforts to know more about your neighbors. 【小题2】. And if you feel comfortable, let them know that you’re there to help, if they ever need another hand.

Another way to show your neighbors that you care is by making your small acts of kindness a regular practice. This can be cleaning up the litter or even cleaning up after the pets have made a mess on your block. 【小题3】, you can ask your partner or kids to pick a bunch of flowers from the garden to give your new neighbor. 【小题4】.

Remind yourself that being connected feels good and boosts your mood in the long run. If you take the first step, your small acts of kindness can encourage others to pay that kindness forward. 【小题5】. Challenging as they are, reaching out to your neighbors is worth the efforts.

As the hot summer is coming, you can try a few of the following proven strategies to improve your confidence now and set yourself up for sunnier times.

【小题1】

Rather than focusing on the negatives, make an effort to recognize your plus points. Make a list of the things you like about yourself—for instance, how you help others or make people laugh—and of compliments people pay you. 【小题2】 If you find yourself criticizing yourself, stop and ask yourself, “Would I say that to a friend?”

Give yourself a mini-makeover.

One thing that’s easy to do is change your appearance and summer’s the time to do it! It’s amazing how good a new dress, a haircut, having your teeth whitened or your nails done can make you feel. 【小题3】 Always stand tall—looking confident will help you feel more confident.

Make plans with positive people.

【小题4】 If that’s not possible, see them less and instead seek out people with a glass-half-full mentality. A meta-analysis of 48 studies published by the American Psychological Association in 2019 found positive social relationships had a beneficial effect on self-esteem but poor-quality relationships had a negative effect. Actively arrange to meet them, as having fun with great people will make you feel better about yourself.

Go to the gym.

A 2016 study in the Journal: of Psychosocial Research found that self-esteem was higher in those who worked out in the gym than for a group who had a sedentary (久坐的) lifestyle. The research focused on adolescents but there’s no reason it wouldn’t hold true for adults of all ages and for all kinds of physical activities. 【小题5】