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What is funny? The short answer is: Who knows? The joke that causes a burst of laughter from one listener might be met with a puzzled look from another.
In general, you should avoid jokes at any business or social gathering where there are more than two people in your conversational group. If there are only two people — and they consist of you and your best friend — go ahead and tell it.
Admittedly, a few people possess a perfect sense of timing, appropriateness, and joke delivery. You are probably not one of them. You might be quite funny and have many great jokes. But there’s a place for jokes — over dinner with family, hiking with friends, but business or social affairs with colleagues and acquaintances (熟人) are not it. It takes a whole other level of joke-telling ability to put a joke into the more formal conversations.
The best jokes come into the conversation so that by the time listeners realize a joke is in progress, the punchline that produces humour is being delivered — to their surprise and delight.
Jokes don’t translate well when you’re in a group with mixed backgrounds: those whose first language is not English, those who might not understand a special term or an “in” expression, young people who wouldn’t catch a reference to some bit of culture familiar to older people — and vice versa (反之亦然).
Never joke about another person in the group — about their name, habits, hometown, profession, appearance, or past. It’s not a question of whether the joke is cheery or appropriate. No one enjoys being singled out this way. When you are the subject of the joke, the laughter doesn’t feel good no matter how hard you try to tell yourself they’re not laughing at you. Because that’s what it feels like.
What do you say if you realize your joke upset someone? Apologize as briefly and as sincerely as you can, and hope that someone changes the subject. Try saying: “I’m sorry. I should have known better” or “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
What do you do if people don’t get your joke or don’t appear to find it as funny as you do? First, do not retell it, only louder this time, hoping the point of the joke will be seen. Second, don’t try to push people to get it. People do not like people whose jokes they don’t understand. They feel stupid and need to blame someone. If you want to leave with the goodwill of your listeners, say something to make them feel less foolish. You could say: “I don’t know why I tell jokes when I’m so poor at it.”
The world needs laughter, and good humour is a success wherever it goes, so this caveat (告诫) about joke-telling is not meant to dampen high spirits or to advocate dull conversation. If you’re a gifted story-teller and you know people love your jokes, go for it. We need your kind. The rest of us will save our jokes for family and close friends.
【小题1】According to the passage, it might be appropriate for you to tell a joke at a business or social gathering if ______.
A.the joke is well chosen
B.you have complete confidence in your listeners’ sense of humor
C.only you and your best friend are involved in the conversation
D.the audience consists of your colleagues and acquaintances
【小题2】Why do some jokes fail to work?
A.Because the punchline is too long to catch.
B.Because the joke-teller uses wrong words and expressions.
C.Because the joke-teller and listeners don’t share the same background knowledge.
D.Because the jokes are not properly translated into the listeners’ native language.
【小题3】How will people feel when they are joked about?
A.They will feel happy if the joke is a pleasant one.
B.They will be upset no matter what kind of joke it is.
C.They will enjoy the joke when realizing that people are not laughing at them.
D.They will panic because it makes them the center of attention.
【小题4】When people do not understand a joke they hear, they tend to ______.
A.believe it’s the joke-teller’s faultB.get someone to retell the joke
C.ask for explanationD.say something foolish
【小题5】Which of the following best describes the writer’s opinion on joke-telling?
A.Nobody knows what makes a joke funny.
B.We should not tell jokes unless we are asked to do so.
C.Joke-telling is a very complex thing.
D.Jokes should be told only to friends and family members.
2015·浙江嘉兴·一模
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Directions: Choose from the sentences A-F to complete the passage. There are extra sentences which you do not need to use.

Practical tips to stay fit for Spring Festival

The Spring Festival is here and lots of people may not only ruin their usual diets, but also gain a few extra pounds.【小题1】. Excessive eating is claimed to be the main cause for the additional weight gain, but it is also due to lack of physical activity and exercise. A lot of individuals out there tend to set aside their fitness routines during the holidays since they believe that they do not have enough time to perform their workouts. And because they feel guilty after   the holiday season,   most   of   the   gyms   and   fitness   centers   are   packed   with   fresh   members. 【小题2】. Here are several useful tips that might help you.

Eat before heading out. It is best that you eat something before heading out to visits, trips or family dinners. You will no longer be tempted to eat a lot or overindulge yourself since you have already eaten.

Don’t skip meals, especially breakfast! Even though it can be tempting to skip on certain meals, believing that it will make up for the treats you consumed in the previous day, don’t do it because it will only lead to counterproductive results.

【小题3】. Alcohol, coke or other juices will only add more calories to the ones you already ate!

Make the holidays a family affair. Plan outdoor activities where everyone is involved. Even a tour at the shopping mall will burn a lot of calories and keep the children entertained.

You’d better distribute your meals evenly throughout the day, and do not eat everything at once. 【小题4】. Eat your dinner earlier and have a nice walk before going to bed.

These tips will help you avoid gaining weight during the holiday, and will also allow you to enjoy yourself and have a great time with your loved ones. So there you go!

A.Try to do exercise early in the morning while everyone else is still sleeping.
B.Always bear in mind that you can enjoy the holidays and stay fit at the same time.
C.Instead of having two enormous meals, have five small ones.
D.Based on studies, the majority of people tend to gain additional weight during the holiday season.
E.It is best to regulate your drinking.
F.Prioritize your workouts and try your best to avoid neglecting meals.

What thing in your home is most germy? If you said the toilet seat, your answer is fallacious. Kitchen cleaning brushes top the list. But cell phones are pretty dirty too. They contain around 10 times as many germs as toilet seats. People touch their phones, laptops, and other digital devices all day long, yet rarely clean them.

In one incident, a thief paid a terrible price for stealing a germy cell phone. He stole it from a hospital in Uganda during an epidemic of the deadly disease Ebola. The phone’s owner reported the stealing before dying from the disease. Soon, the thief began showing symptoms and admitted his crime.

In that unusual case, a cell phone carried dangerous bacteria. But not all germs are bad. Most cause no harm. In fact, they could provide helpful information. Look at the surface of your phone carefully. Do you see some greasy smudges? “That’s all you,” says microbial ecologist Jarrad Hampton-Marcell. “That’s biological information. It turns out that the types of germs (also known as microbes) that you smudge all over your phone are different from those of your friends and family. They’re like a fingerprint that could identify you. Some day in the future, police may use these microbial fingerprints to solve crimes. Phones and digital devices may be one of the best places to look for evidence.”

In a 2017 study, researchers sampled a range of surfaces in 22 participants’ homes, from beds and floors to computer mice. Then they tried to match the microbial fingerprints on each object to its owner. The office equipment was easiest to match to its owner. In an earlier study, a different group of researchers found that they could use microbial fingerprints to identify the person who had used a computer keyboard even after the keyboard sat untouched for two weeks at room temperature.

One day, microbial signatures might show where people have gone and what they have touched. They could prove that an unmarked device is yours. So, sure, your phone is pretty germy. Does that inspire you, or does it frighten you?

【小题1】What does the underlined word “fallacious” in paragraph1 mean?
A.Wrong.B.Quick.
C.Direct.D.Honest.
【小题2】What does the Ugandan hospital incident show?
A.Ebola is a very serious disease.
B.Cell phones are heaven to germs.
C.Crimes in hospitals are easy to solve.
D.Using others’ cell phones may give you a disease.
【小题3】What idea is conveyed in Jarrad Hampton-Marcell’s words ?
A.Everyone carries a unique set of germs.
B.Digital technology helps a lot in crime-solving.
C.People can be identified from their fingerprints.
D.People may become sick after using phones a lot.
【小题4】What was a result of the 2017 study?
A.The mouse owner was identified most quickly.
B.Computer keyboards carried most germs.
C.Germs live well at room temperature.
D.Our homes are also homes to germs.
Sir William Osler has a few words for you: “In the Life of a young man, the most essential thing for happiness is the gift of friendship.” Truer words were never spoken. For what more could you ask than comradeship during the peaks and valleys of life? To whom else but a close, valuable friend can you show off your successes and complain about your failures or losses?
What is a “good friend”? How is he best described? Well, it has been my observation that although many will cry with you, few can sincerely rejoice (欣喜) with you. Therefore, in my opinion, a good friend is one who can enjoy your successes without envy; one who can say, “That was wonderful! You can do it again, even better if you want!” and mean it. Nothing taxes a friendship more than the success of one and not the other. Even the closest of friendships often cannot resist such pressure and fail. No wonder many minor friendships go down day by day for the same reason.
A person of good character and sound moral, of honor and humor, of courage and belief is a friend to be sought and treasured — for there are few. Too often we hear, “If you can count your good friends on more than one hand, consider yourself blessed.” And even then I would add, “Even if you have lost two fingers of that hand to the electric saw.
What makes a friendship last? Well, I don’t know all the answers, but one of my observations is that most good friends usually have similar tastes. They generally like and dislike many of the same things. There also usually seems to exist a similarity of personality types — especially in the fundamental values of life such as honesty, sincerity, loyalty, and dependability. More often than not, birds of a feather do fly together. I don’t think it matters a lot whether one prefers jazz or hockey to another’s Mozart or ballet. Much other matters far more: relying, sharing, giving, getting, enjoying; a sympathetic ear always there; criticism when it can help; praise — even if only because it would help. With not many people on this earth will you find this much in common. When you find one, hang on to him, for a good friend found is a rare treasure.
【小题1】What is the meaning of the underlined sentence in Paragraph two?
A.People don’t have to pay taxes to develop friendship with others.
B.Success of one person can promote his friendship with others.
C.Friendship can be affected by the difference in success between friends.
D.Nothing can affect friendship because it has gone through the peaks and valleys of life.
【小题2】What is the main idea of Paragraph three?
A.One is lucky to have many friends.
B.A friend should have a good character.
C.We should count our friends on more than one hand.
D.A true friend should be treasured because there are few.
【小题3】According to the passage, which of the following plays the LEAST important role in a long-lasting friendship?
A.Hobbies.B.Tastes.C.Personality.D.Sympathy.
【小题4】The passage mainly tells us “________”.
A.How good friends share the same taste and hobbies?
B.Why is friendship essetial in one’s life?
C.What is friendship and what makes it last?
D.What one can do to keep friendship last?

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