What’s the best way to make friends at a new school?

Although it might feel overwhelming during your first few days at a new school, it’s easier to make friends than you might think.【小题1】. Just try to be inviting, smiling, and making eye contact, and people will naturally greet you. If you see someone you recognize from class, the basketball court, or the community, give a smile or say hi. Introduce yourself.【小题2】. Asking questions such as “What sports do you like to play?” or “Have you been here since kindergarten?” is a good way to begin a friendship.

【小题3】. You can save someone a seat, say hi in the hall, or offer congratulations on a good test score. Even a simple compliment, such as “I like your backpack,” can go a long way toward making a friendship. You could join a sports team, engage in school activities, such as choir or theater, or form or join a study group. All are great ways to meet potential friends, establish common bonds, and get academic support. And guidance counselors can arrange for “buddies” with similar interests and the same classes to introduce new students to the campus the first few days of school.

Friendships can be difficult—because often people aren’t as honest and open as they should be. Sometimes, people end up getting hurt.

Most problems with friendships come up because people are just too selfish to care about the things that their friends need. They care about their own needs much more, which makes it hard for friendships to work. However, being selfish is part of human nature.A person is put together in order to take care of himself and his own needs, not necessarily those needs of other people.Even though being selfish is something that all humans are born with, it is something that everyone should guard against.

The best thing to remember when you are a friend to anyone is that you need to treat your friend the same way as you’d like to be treated.This is wonderful advice for a friendship, because it is really the only way to make sure that you are giving your friend everything you would want to be given in a friendship.Whenever you have a question about how you should treat a friend, it is easy to find an answer simply by asking yourself what you would like your friend to do for you, if he or she is in your shoes.

Even if you’re always thinking about how you’d like to be treated, and your friends are too, there are issues that come up from time to time in each friendship, and it is important to understand how to deal with these issues so that you can build stronger and healthier friendships.Issues like friends getting boyfriends or girlfriends and not spending enough time with their friends, or even friends finding new friends and leaving old friends behind are issues that will probably come up with one or more of your friendships.It is important to know how to deal with these issues so that you can keep your friends and make new ones.No one wants to have a broken friendship.

Why You Won’t Apologize

In our relationships with others, it’s inevitable that we’ll hurt people from time to time, even though, in some cases, we don’t mean to. 【小题1】 Research shows what those with high levels of social intelligence already know — sincere apologies are usually very effective at mending relationships that have been damaged by thoughtless acts. But all too often, we stubbornly refuse to apologize, even when we know we’re in the wrong.

An apology is an attempt to repair the damage we’ve done to a relationship. To do this，we need to imagine ourselves to be in the victim’s position and to show empathy (共情) for the pain we have caused the victim. Some researches have indicated that people with the personality of narcissism (自恋) generally see no need to apologize when they have wronged another person. 【小题2】 When our friend points out that we’ve offended them, it’s easy to recall plenty of instances when they’d also hurt our feelings—so what are they getting so upset about?

We all want to believe we’re essentially good people. Accepting the fact that we’ve hurt someone we care about conflicts with our precious self-image. People who believe that personality is fixed are especially easily affected by the idea that an act of apology is a threat to their self-image. If personal characteristics stay the same, then, of course, hurting someone they care about is inconsistent (不一致) with their self-image as an essentially good person. In reality, of course, even good people sometimes do bad things. 【小题3】

Sometimes people don’t apologize because they don’t believe it will do any good. This could come from the belief that some mistakes are unforgivable. 【小题4】 Your sincere apology doesn’t mean the victim ought to forgive you right away. It may still take time, but at least the act of making an apology gets the process of forgiveness started.