Life Skills Start in the Home

I started my kids on household chores young because I refuse to send any of them into the world without being able to provide the most basic care for themselves. We started small such as teaching them how to crack an egg or load the washing machine. We made a game: of it and let it get messy. 【小题1】, the kids were able to eventually get comfortable with the chore, gain competence and then finally achieve confidence.

If there is unwillingness or lack of enthusiasm, 【小题2】. Consistency and patience is the key. Keep at it. Years into this experiment, my 13-year-old son can cook a basic meal and is in charge of cooking on Sunday nights. That means planning, shopping and meal preparation. My 15-year-old daughter has her own night Saturday with the same responsibilities. She also does a lot of car maintenance with me. 【小题3】

Jessica Lahey, author of “The Gift of Failure,” advocates that we teach our kids autonomy so they will be more motivated to engage in the business of their lives and learn how to be competent. In order to do this, we give our kids clear expectations and 【小题4】. This allow our kids to take ownership of the task, and they learn to solve problems and deal with failure.

Yes, we have had some magnificent disasters in this house. Each one was a moment where we could come together as a family, figure out the solution and deal with the consequences.

【小题5】, so they are better prepared for adulthood. It not only gives them responsibilities around the house but it can be a great bonding activity for the whole family.

How many men do housework? Recently a European commission (委员会) tried to find out people’s ideas and reactions to the women’s movement. As part of their survey, they asked many men and women the question, “Who does the housework?” The men answered very differently from the women!

The housework they asked people about was: preparing meals, washing dishes, cleaning the house and babysitting. 48% of British husbands said they did these things. 37% of Danish (丹麦的) men helped in the house. But only 15% of Italian men said they did the housework; many of them said they never helped at all!

But there was an interesting point of view from the wives. According to British wives, only 38% of their husbands helped in the house. And Italian wives said that their husbands hardly ever helped. The Italian and British men did not tell the truth! The Commission found that Danish men were the most truthful husbands; their answers were the same as their wives’ answers.

Do the men you know help in the house? Do you think the survey gives a true picture in your experience? Write and tell us what you think.

I feel it important for families to have regular meals together. One of my best childhood memories was dinner wih my parents and two sisters. As a result, last year I decided that the entire family would have dinner together three days a week. Because my hushand and I both work and our three kids are busy with school activities, we could harlly have a chance to get together as a family. But we thought it possible for everyone to set aside three evenings a week for a sit-down dinner.

First we tried setting three fixed days for our experiment — Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. After trying the plan some weeks, almost everyone was unhappy. Then my son had the idea of having everyone post his or her schedule for the week on the fridge every Sunday. I would choose the three best days.

For a while, the kids continued to resist (抵触) the idea, saying they would rather spend the time with their friends or joining in sports or other activities. But with time going on, they began to see these evenings together positively. We discussed each other’s problems. We made vacation plans. We laughed a lot. Months later, anyone who had to miss a family meal felt regretful.

We all now feel that we’ve been able to build stronger relationships within the family and communicate better. The idea of having regular family meals together, which seemed difficult at first, has brought about many positive changes in our lives.