Learning to forgive those who have “wronged us” may not always be easy, but it’s definitely worth it. Here’s why.
First, forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with the other person at all. Forgiveness is about one thing and one thing only: it’s about how you feel. This is why it doesn’t matter if the offense was large or small. When you hold on to the anger, when you get stuck in blaming the other person and refuse to move on, you are hurting no one but yourself.
You may have been taught to “turn the other cheek”, which can be interpreted as letting those who have harmed you in some way walk all over you. Don’t fight back, and just let it happen. But is that really what we’re supposed to do? No. Forgiving is neither about playing the martyr (自我牺牲的人) or victim, nor about being a doormat (忍气吞声的人). You can forgive what others have done to you, but you should not sacrifice your own interests.
For example, should you let your colleague get away with taking credit for your work, while you sit in silence? No. First, you can choose to forgive his action so that you can calm down. Then you can calmly explain to your boss who actually did the work on that project, without seeming overly emotional or like you have any kind of agenda other than to set the record straight.
Of course, if it’s something trivial, you can just choose to forgive and let it go.
It’s important to note that this also (and especially) applies when it comes to forgiving yourself. Since thoughts of self-blame or self-hatred are the worst thoughts we can have, staying stuck in that vibration will cause more harm than any other emotion. Move into anger, stabilize there, and then move up the emotional scale until you gradually but consistently feel better. You owe it to yourself.
【小题1】What is forgiveness mainly about according to the author?A.Controlling our own feelings. | B.Making ourselves feel better. |
C.Lessening the harm of an offence. | D.Repairing relationships with others. |
A.Turn the other cheek. | B.Calm down and let it go. |
C.Ask for help from others. | D.Fight back in a proper way. |
A.unimportant | B.unique | C.unusual | D.uninteresting |
A.The way to get along well with others. |
B.The importance of learning to forgive. |
C.The reason to forgive ourselves. |
D.The way to fight back against dishonest colleagues. |