To Please Your Friends, Tell Them What They Already Know

The research emerged out of some real-life observations shared by Gilbert and co-authors Gus Cooney and Timothy D.Wilson: “Conversation is the most common of all human social activities, and doing it well requires that we know what our conversation partners most want to hear.【小题1】” says psychological scientist Daniel T.Gilbert of Harvard University.

“When our friends try to tell us about movies we’ve never seen or albums we’ve never heard, we usually find ourselves bored, confused, and underwhelmed.【小题2】 .And yet, as soon as it's our turn to speak, we do exactly the same thing to our friends -- with exactly the same consequences.We wanted to understand why this happens.” Gilbert explains.The researchers decided to do this by conducting a series of experiments.

In their first experiment, the researchers assigned participants to groups of three, with one person acting as the speaker and the other two acting as listeners.Speakers watched a video and then tried to describe it to the listeners.Some of the listeners had seen the video the speaker was describing, and others had not.

【小题3】.When the speakers were done speaking, the listeners rated them on these aspects.The results showed that speakers’ predictions were exactly backwards.Speakers expected listeners to respond more positively to their stories when the listeners had not seen the video they were describing.【小题4】.Although speakers expected listeners to enjoy hearing about a novel experience more than a familiar one, it was actually the other way around.

A second study showed that when asked to predict their own reactions before hearing the story, listeners made the same mistake that speakers did.

Exam-taking doesn't come easy to many people. The experience is often stressful. Here are some tips on making better preparations for your math exam.

Set up a study schedule and stick to it. Begin your schedule several weeks before your math exam.【小题1】Choose a schedule that provides for regular work but does not require so much attention that you become burnt out.

Work through classroom and homework problems and practice tests. This is very useful. Practice tests will familiarize you with similar questions that will be on the exam and will get you used to writing under time pressure.【小题2】

Attend review sessions with teaching assistants and instructors. Ask questions whenever you are confused. Bring the problems you’ve been working on.【小题3】Focus on problems where you consistently arrive at the incorrect answer and can't identify the reason.

Memorize the formulas you will need for your exam. Write down the information in numbers and mathematical symbols.【小题4】Commit "Pi equals three point one four" instead of "Pi = 3. 14" to memory. Many people have more difficulty memorizing figures, and your memory may turn 3.14 into 3.41 if you do not focus on the words attached to the numbers.

Take care of yourself before the exam. Eat healthy food and take steps to reduce stress. The night before the exam, sleep a full night's rest and arrive on time for the exam.

As the test begins, be calm and breathe deeply if you feel anxious.【小题5】Make sure your work is in the appointed place, so you receive full credit for your work.

Discouragement generally occurs when what we think should happen doesn’t come true. 【小题1】 However, if properly dealt with, it's part of what makes the human experience rich and helps us become more strong-willed. So the next time we start to feel discouraged, we should:

∙ 【小题2】 If we do something just in order to get something back, then we are setting ourselves up for discouragement. However, when we don’t need someone else's praise for our actions, then we are truly free to just focus on our work and make it great. When we create great work, we’re happy. Even if we fail in something, we should choose to think of the failure as an education. 【小题3】 As a result, we will feel less discouraged.

∙ Go outside and breathe. 【小题4】 So if we start to feel down, go outside, feel the fresh air, let the sun hit our face and go for a hike, a walk, a bike ride, a swim, a run, etc. We’ll feel better if we do this.

∙ Going to find someone we can help is a great way to remove discouragement. So go to find someone who needs help, and then help them. When we serve others, and when we go out of our way to help other people in need, we feel better. 【小题5】 When we stop thinking about ourselves and, instead, direct our attention to another, we feel better.