There’s no doubt that loneliness hurts. Functional MRIs show that the area of the brain triggered by social rejection is the same area that’s triggered by physical pain. To understand why loneliness hurts, let’s take a closer look at friendship through the eyes of two heavyweight philosophers.

In one corner we have Aristotle, who wrote that without friends, there’s no reason to live. The Greek great believed that friendships are based on the virtues of the friend. 【小题1】 But the problem with Aristotle’s theory is that if you lose some virtues, you should also expect to lose some friends. And that’s not how friendships work — at least not the good ones. 【小题2】

So as a sharp counterpunch to Aristotle, let’s turn to the renowned Enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant, who said that all people have value regardless of their virtues. Since we view our true friends with this kind of unconditional love and respect, we can assume they view us the same way. 【小题3】 Being away from our friends takes away these life-affirming interactions. Worse, having no friends means our value, or dignity, isn’t being appreciated.

【小题4】 This may seem obvious, but there’s a catch. Your connection has to be oriented (以……为方向) toward the other person — not in what they can do for you and your loneliness. So say hi to a neighbor, hold the door for someone, or volunteer at the soup kitchen. 【小题5】 However, they’ll help you feel more connected to the world. And the more of these small steps you take toward connection, the farther away from loneliness you’ll get.