Most people say “yes” much more readily than “no”.

A friend is moving house this weekend and would like some help, and you agree. But, what you really wanted were a couple of quiet days relaxing at home. Or a roommate spends the entire weekends playing video games and wants to borrow your homework for “reference”. But, you've just finished it after taking a whole day to work hard. Many people say “yes” to these kinds of requests. They usually don't consider their own interests and feelings, and are often angry with themselves afterwards.

Saying “no” requires courage and considerable practice, in fact, according to psychologists. “Everyone wants to be liked,” says Gabriele Steinki, a German psychologist. “Saying ‘no’ risks losing the affection of the person asking the favor or even a job.”

In fact, refusing a request can even help to strengthen a relationship because it expresses a true feeling. But, for people used to agreeing to every request, changing can be a long and uncomfortable learning process.

Most people believe that “If I say ‘no’, I'll lose the affection of the person. But the affection is important to me.” This way of thinking can be replaced by this: “If he only likes me because I always do what suits him, then the price of his affection is too high in the long term.”

Steinki says the key is talking to the other person to find a mutual solution. “One needs to present the situation from one's own point of view, and to suggest how the situation can be dealt with to the advantage of both parties. The other person must have the feeling that his interests are being considered.” When the refusal is not accepted, Steinki advises giving the reasons calmly again until the person gets the message.

How to Teach Time Management Skills to Teens

Teens usually have fairly structured schedules. Their school day and their after-school activities are planned out for them. As a result, many of them don’t learn how to manage their time wisely when they have some downtime. 【小题1】.

Advise your teen to write down his schedule. Your teen’s time may easily get taken up with video games or social media if he’s not careful. Teach him to schedule his day so he can set aside time for chores(琐事), homework, and other responsibilities. 【小题2】, so time doesn’t idly pass without feeling like he hasn’t done anything fun.

【小题3】. Whether it’s a planner that your teen writes everything in or an app that manages your teen’s schedule, help your teen find the tools that will work best for him. Talk about the importance of creating a schedule and using lists to manage his time wisely.

Help him to set goals. 【小题4】. Then, help him identify how much time he’ll need to work on that goal each day. Whether he wants to exercise for 30 minutes 3 times each week or he decides to apply for scholarships one Saturday afternoon each month, goal setting is a great way to help him manage his time.

Help your teen prioritize activities. It’s common for teens to have conflicts in their schedules. A basketball game, birthday party, and church activity may all coincide(同时发生). 【小题5】.

Set limits on electronics. Your teen may waste countless hours on social media or playing video games if she’ not careful. Establish rules that help her create healthy habits with her cellphone and other digital devices.

Many people remain silent as soon as they meet new people. Why? 【小题1】 Thoughts such as “They won’t find me interesting”, “they won’t think I am funny” and many other ones come to the minds of those people and prevent them from socializing. Now the important question is how to get along with new people.

Choose the right people to begin a conversation.

Don’t go to a person while he is talking to others or busy doing something else. 【小题2】 Those are the easiest targets and once you get along with them, you will gain more ground and become more able to socialize with others.

【小题3】

Many people wonder what topic they should start. Here is the quick answer—the most interesting topic is the one that is related to the situation you are both in. For example, if you are in a gym, then discussing the popular sports might be the best conversation starter.

【小题4】

If you are the new one in a college, a school or any other place, you’d better take the first few days to become familiar with the environment. People feel less confident when they are unsure what to do. But once they know their environment well, they become much more confident.

Don’t show your flaws(缺点).

【小题5】 They assume that all people are angels and as a result they show their flaws, make fun of themselves or say too much inappropriate information about themselves. While certainly there are lots of good people out there, still there are also bad ones and psychologically unstable people. Those people will try to make fun of you or embarrass you as soon as they get the chance. Just don’t give them the chance to do so.