I started working with my hands at a young age. The youngest of five brothers, I took on   the role as a “maintenance ( 维 修 ) man” at an early age for our family’s small grocery store. Often my dad wouldn’t give me a clear idea of how something should be done, so I just had to figure it out by researching or through trial and error.

Fast forward to 2016 and those problem-solving skills would become the focus of Tippecanoe High School’s Homebuilding class. I knew I wanted to teach the students skills that went beyond just being able to hammer nails or cut pieces of two-by-fours. The problem was   that we didn’t have the resources at the time to do much else. The idea of attracting some type of funding seemed very important. Designing, building and selling a tiny house on wheels seemed like the perfect project to accomplish the task. I reached out to a number of local businesses and most of them responded with the greatest support for what x k w we were doing.

This year we added a new element to the program. Through one of our partners, we were able to connect with the nonprofit Veteran’s Ananda Incorporated. Students in the Homebuilding class are leading the design and production of micro houses to be donated to this organization. The new partnership gives the students another focus to consider when designing and building the houses.

There has been no shortage of students since our first year. Three years ago we had 41 students, the next 191, and this year it was limited to just over 160 students so we could have a safe and manageable classroom environment. The number of girls taking the class has risen steadily over the last few years as well. This class offers something for everyone and the skills are universal.

A few weeks ago, I picked up my 14-year-old daughter and her friend from dance class. The two girls chatted happily until I reached her friend’s house. And then 1 began the drive home and my daughter, who had been talking nonstop a minute before, went completely silent. I assumed she was lost in thought.

When I came to a stoplight, I looked in the mirror. My daughter wasn’t looking out of the window or staring into space - she was on her phone. I felt my anger rise.

“Get off your phone. That is rude. You make me feel like an Uber driver.” I shouted.

“But I’m texting friends about biology homework!’’ she said.

“That can wait.” I was mad and she was angry.

Back home, she disappeared into her room, and I thought about how I was still trying to take control of my daughter’s growing independence, which was fruitless.

The next day I was thinking about my outburst when a parenting program on TV caught my eye, in which the hosts interviewed Dr. Ken Ginsburg, the author of a famous parenting book. It completely changed my attitude.

Ginsburg said. “Why are our teens pushing us away? It’s not because they hate us - it’s because they love us so much and yet they know they have to become independent. So this is a process of figuring out how to push away the things they love the most. It is crazy to fly from a comfortable nest, so teens get ready for it by temporarily pushing their parents away.”

I need to honor her independence and create space for both of us to face this monumental developmental challenge as teammates, not adversaries((对手).