Years ago, I appeared on stage with the Royal Melbourne Philharmonic Choir in the Town Hall. There I was, my feet in plain shoes, sweat dirtying my clean white shirt, singing my heart out in front of the big organ. I still have a tape recording of that performance somewhere, where I swear I can hear myself singing, high and thin and possibly off-key.

But life got in the way and I stopped singing. Then, in the summer of 2019, I found myself facing some gloom in my own life. It felt as if it had been a long time between songs, as if there was something unsung, some absent music in my ears. I began to fear I might be making myself ill and unable to breathe in a normal way.

Could singing help me reclaim my voice and calm my fast-beating heart? Research from the Royal Society noted that “group singing can improve physical and mental health, as well as promote social bonds”. So, rather than letting my unsung tunes strangle (扼杀) me, I decided to take on a new choral experience, one being in the Big Feminist Sing, a community choir.

“If you don’t know what to sing,” the choir director said, “find someone who looks confident and go and stand next to them.” Find a friend if you’re in trouble; take a risk; use your voice; be part of something bigger than yourself. I’ve been singing in the choir ever since, because group singing gives me a sense of safety — and each rehearsal (排练) is a lifeline, a connected thread, an intake of air working toward a collective voice. It doesn’t matter if I am a bit off-key to start with. Decades of unsung situations have changed, and I have flown.

What makes you grow? While rolling many ideas around in my head lo write this piece. I narrowed my focus a bit and chose: family and sense of purpose.

My family keeps me excited to be alive-beginning the day with a morning kiss from the man I love. He is there to listen and guide, to laugh and sigh, to explore and relax, and to make each day meaningful. Together we have three delightful children. Even though they have caused various gray hairs over the years, they have also provided love and laughter.

Friends fall into the family category (范畴) as well. Although they are not cut of the same cloth, they are part of the same quilt. True friends are often as giving .and maybe even more giving as family. Even though our friends enter our life later than our family, strong relation exists. In fact, sometimes friends know us better than family.

The second drive is a sense of purpose. While impossible to describe, it is very easy to picture as we think of even thing of value that touches us. A purpose may be a happy family, home life, and so on. Actually in most cases it is a combination of all these as they affect our lives deeply.

Purpose is new, fresh, exciting and always changing. You’re taking up the same job each day except sometimes challenged. I always wanted to be a teacher, for example, and I chose junior high French. However, over the years my tasks changed so that I had various opportunities to teach K-12 and beyond in a wide range of subjects, levels and school districts. I remained in the same profession for more than 40 years but never in the same setting.