How to make conversation with a group of strangers

One of the most common fears is speaking to strangers. While most people don’t naturally enjoy talking to strangers, it is an art that you can learn. When you learn how to make conversation with a group of strangers, you never have to stand by yourself at a party again.

【小题1】Say hi and tell the group your name. Don’t focus on how boring you think you sound. Remember that others in the group are probably just as self-conscious as you are. Doing so to a group of strangers may result in making others feel comfortable enough to open up. They may secretly be glad that you made the first move.

Practice talking to as many strangers as possible throughout the day. 【小题2】Soon it will be second nature for you to walk up to a group of strangers and introduce yourself.

Make a comment about something interesting in the environment. This may be something as simple as the decorations for the party or the band providing the entertainment. 【小题3】

Ask for an opinion. People enjoy giving their opinion on any subject. 【小题4】Asking for an opinion works immediately to break the ice and encourages the entire group to talk with you.

Learn to listen. Making conversation is about more than trying to find the right words to say. 【小题5】And then find out the next thing you should say. Make sure that your response invites another response.

We are naturally drawn to friends and colleagues with familiar voices, scientists have found. People prefer those who have a similar accent, intonation and tone of voice to themselves, they discovered.

Previous research has focused on how a male or female voice sounds. Men with deeper voices and women with slightly higher voices were thought to sound more attractive.

But the new study, published by a linguist in Canada, suggests there is a more complex mechanism(机制)at play. Dr. Molly Babel, from the University of British Columbia in Canada, said, “The voice is an amazingly flexible tool that we use to construct our identity. Very few things in our voices are changeless, so we felt that our preference had to be about more than a person’ s shape and size.”

She recorded 30 volunteers, voices and asked each to rate the others attractiveness on a scale of one to nine. Each participant was from Western America, with similar accents. The people we assessed were all in the same dialect group, but they showed different degrees.

“We seem to like people whose voices are like our voices, and we like people who fit within what we know,” Dr. Babel said. She also found that breathy voices in women — typified by the famous American actress Marilyn Monroe — were seen as more attractive.

The breathy tone, caused by younger and thinner vocal cords(声带), implied youthfulness and health. A creaky voice, suggesting a person has a cold or is tired, was seen as unattractive. The participant preferred men who spoke with a shorter average word length and deeper voices.

How to Manage Conflict

Neutral language keeps the discussion objective and non judgmental. Inflammatory(煽动性的)language only makes the conflict worse.【小题1】 Rephrase negative statements into neutral comments and ask sincere questions to get your coworker’s side of the story and use a calm, even-tone of voice.

Show all parties that you hear and understand their concerns. Often, conflict comes from one party feeling as though they’re not being heard or understood. Take time throughout your conversation to restate what the other person says. 【小题2】

【小题3】Resolve the conflict by working together and brainstorming solutions to the conflict that addresses everyone’s concerns. Write down your ideas and see if there’s one solution that both of you find fair and reasonable. A good resolution usually involves compromise—meeting half way so that you both leave satisfied.

A plan defines each party’s responsibilities and prevents more conflict. After finding a solution everyone can agree on, sit down together and figure out what you’ll all do to resolve the conflict. 【小题4】What other practices might help avoid future conflict and maintain positive communication? Ensure everyone involved cooperates on the win-win solution.

Not all conflicts are worth holding onto at the cost of your energy. Some issues can’t be solved to the satisfaction of both parties, especially if one person rejects any negotiation. In those cases, ask yourself how much the issue at the core of the conflict matters to you. Are you willing to give in or keep dialoguing to reach a different resolution? 【小题5】If you decide the conflict isn’t worth your energy, give the other person a simple concession.