Self-love

We all have the thought of having satisfactory relationships, which will bring some meaning to our lives and make us happy. 【小题1】 However, we often forget that true happiness lies right within us, that is, we needn’t go anywhere to find it.

【小题2】 By now we have heard more than a million times that true happiness lies within ourselves. You have to love yourself first in order to love someone else. Many people say self-love is the foundation of a happy life. But have you ever wondered that with so many preachers (传道者) of self-love, why haven’t we been able to love ourselves? 【小题3】

We have been taught to be selfless from the start of time. The minute we start thinking about ourselves, everyone around us makes it their personal mission to remind us of how selfish we are. But there is nothing wrong with putting your needs and yourself first. 【小题4】 It only helps us better understand which sacrifices are worth making!

【小题5】 The stronger your roots are, the more difficult it will be for winds to knock down the branches. Before exploring this view, it is very important to understand what self-love truly means. With such a thin line between being ruthless (冷酷无情的) and self-loving, it is too easy to trip over the darker side.

A few years back I worked in a university building that also housed an entire department full of psychologists, all of whom seemed to see us as perfect guinea pigs(实验对象） for their latest studies. I learned to be cautious about answering seemingly casual   questions in the elevator. If one of them showed up in my office bearing a plate of snacks and asked me to pick some, I'd cast a doubtful glance and ask "Why?" before grabbing the apple fritter.

So one day, when someone from the Psychology Department posted instructions in the bathroom advising us to think about five things you're grateful for every day for a week, my response was frankly suspicious. I did the math. Five things a day for seven days is a lot of brainpower to consume without so much as the promise of an apple fritter.

I wandered into the office of Zetzer, the director of our school's Psychological Services Clinic. That was when I first heard the term" positive psychology" and discovered that "the gratitude thing", as Heidi had explained it. "It's only a week, "she urged. "Try it. ” So I did.

I started looking for my five moments of gratitude in each day. By the end of that   week, I found myself slowing down a little and taking time to notice things I might have walked past before, including a bunch of young students laughing together, They are so smart and optimistic, giving me so much hope for the future!

I couldn't be more grateful to my wonderful husband. He's a great cook. He always puts our family first. My oldest son took his vacation to come and help out at home. He took me to all my medical appointments, and made me laugh by titling his spring break "Driving Miss Leslie. "The kindness of a colleague with a green thumb made sure my plants stayed alive until I could care for them again.

Life will never be perfect, I still see news stories that distress me. But with just one simple exercise, I'm rediscovering the deep meaning of old sayings: accepting the things I cannot change, working to change what I can, and being wise enough to know the difference.

And all it took was a little gratitude.

Recently, as I watched my son Nathan play basketball for his high school team, I was starting to feel sorry for myself and for him. His team was facing adversity (逆境) on the court and he was playing in a hostile environment—it was the opponent’s home gym filled with their supporters, and Nathan’s team was trailing (落后) for three quarters of the game. As for me, I had been dismissed from my job earlier in the day.

During my drive home, I kept telling myself that I will find work again in a short time — I am confident in my experience and abilities. This is the same belief that I tried to instill in my son.

The basketball game entered the fourth quarter with Nathan’s team still trailing. I saw the determination on him, as well as his teammates’ faces as they fought back to not only tie the game (平局), but then go ahead by three points. Then, a player from the other team made an unbelievable shot to tie the game up again. With a tie game and seconds on the clock, Nathan found himself with the ball and with skill and confidence, he proceeded to make the basket with a defender hanging all over him. The other player was called for a foul (犯规).

As Nathan stood at the foul line preparing for a shot that would put his team up by three points, I saw the focus and determination on his face, there was no room for self-doubt. Nathan was able to tune out all the distractions and nail the free throw with such skill, it was as if he had done it a thousand times.

As I sat there, my heart bursting with pride, it dawned on me. I had taught him perseverance in the face of adversity, and he had just taught me the same lesson. That brief moment of self-doubt and feeling sorry for myself was blown away by the actions of my son on the basketball court. He will play in the finals, but it doesn’t matter if he wins or loses, at this moment, we both won.