I didn't know how to say no, and was afraid to tell people what I wanted. Instead, I got myself tangled (纠结的) in a web of obligations, anxiety, and white lies.

The worst thing was that I didn't even realize what I was doing. I thought I knew how to say “no”-but couldn't remember the last time I had. Like a lot of people, I just wanted to be accepted, appreciated, loved-and that the only way to get those things was to put everyone else's needs before my own.

I never seemed to have time for things I really wanted to do. I'd like to learn Spanish, write more fiction, and travel. These aren't huge, unrealistic goals. And yet, my people-pleasing ways dramatically cut into my free time to pursue these desires.

But recently, I decided I'd had enough. As an experiment, I began standing up for myself, even at the risk of alienating (使疏远) myself from everyone and having my entire life come crashing down around me. Several days ago, a good friend asked me to go for coffee at 5 p.m. I was planning to hit the gym and then binge-watch Mad Men for the millionth time. I said, “Sorry, I've got things I want to do tonight.” She said, “That's fine. Maybe another time.” It was all so painfully simple that I wanted to cry.

Saying “no” is so much easier. If someone asks me to do something I have zero interest in, I'm polite but honest. “I'm sorry, I don't think that's really for me.” The words slip out my mouth faster than some other lame excuses.

Learning how to say “no” has added several extra hours to my days, days to my weeks, and what feels like months to my years. I no longer have to back-burner my plans to help friends with their job search, or set aside a weekend to read a book draft by someone I barely know. Saying “no” has set me free.

Bill Bowerman was a track coach.He wanted to help athletes run faster. So he had learned how to make running shoes. He had also started a shoe company with a friend. It was 1971. Running shoes at the time were heavy. They had spikes(鞋钉)on the sole(鞋底). The spikes tore up the track and slowed down runners.

To make a lighter shoe, Bill tried the skins of fish. To make a better sole, he wanted to replace the spikes. Bill look through his wife Barbara's jewelry box. He hoped to find a piece of jewelry with an interesting pattern. He would then copy the pattern onto the new soles. Nothing worked. Bill was stumped. Then, one Sunday morning, Barbara made Bill waffles(华夫饼)for breakfast. Bill watched her cook. He studied the cross pattern on their old waffle iron.

Inspiration(灵感)hit.

The pattern on a waffle iron was just what Bill was looking for. The squares were fatter and wider than sharp spikes. The pattern would help the shoes grip (抓牢) any surface without tearing into it.

When Barbara left the house, Bill ran to his lab. He took the liquid chemicals that, when mixed, would harden into the sole of a shoe. He poured the mixture into the waffle iron and the Waffle Trainer was born.

Bill's company put the Waffle Trainer on the market in 1974. It was a huge hit. Maybe you've heard of that company called Nike. And today it's worth around $100 billion.

It was the waffle iron that had changed the course of Bill's life and helped turn Nike into a well-known name. Today, the waffle iron is kept at Nike headquarters. It serves as a reminder that if we keep trying, we can find a solution to even the toughest problems. And those solutions can come from unlikely places，even the breakfast table.