Recent research suggests that if an argument gets resolved, the emotional response tied to it is significantly reduced or almost completely erased. Thus, it may be worth bringing up issues with your friends, family members, or classmates rather than holding them back.
There is a difference between arguing and fighting. Arguing is that you and your opponent present your concerns and discuss the feelings and issues related to those concerns. You can engage in an argument respectfully without stirring up (激起) anger. Fighting, however, usually involves personal attacks, raising of voices, and storming out. Discussing your issues and resolving them instead of stuffing them down can improve your emotional health.
In a study, 2,000 people were asked to record their feelings and experiences for eight days in a row. When people had an argument that they considered resolved, they had half the reactivity of those who avoided an argument. Reactivity is an increase in negative emotions or a decrease in positive emotions. In other words, resolving an argument cuts your negative feelings by half. One day later, people who had a resolved argument reported no increase of negative emotions compared with those who avoided an argument. This means that resolving an argument can feel like you have reached a state of resolution — and you are less likely to be annoyed.
Moreover, the older you are, the more likely you will come to a resolution after an argument. This may be because more life experience usually leads to more defined priorities. You are more likely to distinguish between what matters and what does not.
It is easier to avoid a discussion, but risking talking about it may eventually lead to a better outcome.
【小题1】Which can improve people’s emotional health?| A．Arguing with friends. | B．Resolving existing issues. |
| C．Fighting with friends. | D．Presenting current concerns. |
| A．Annoyed. | B．Disappointed. | C．Embarrassed. | D．Bored. |
| A．The experience. | B．The feelings. | C．The occasion. | D．The location. |
| A．Results of going on an adventure. | B．Influence of avoiding a discussion. |
| C．Desire for a better consequence. | D．Benefits of conducting a discussion. |
Shy Parents, Shy Children — Parent workshop Series
The workshop is designed for shy parents of shy children, with the unique emphasis on teaching specific methods of building your child’s self-respect and social comfort level, while at the same time building your own. Participants are chosen before being admitted to the workshop to help make sure the workshop is a good fit for your needs.
Where: Karman Executive Center, Bellevue, Washington
When: From 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm, from November 8th to 12th
Fee: $435
Shake Your Shyness: Intensive Weekend
The workshop is intended to meet the needs of adults who are unable to attend the Parent Workshop Series due to distance or scheduling limits. It’ll help you learn the basic skills that help overcome shyness. Be prepared to come to class early and set aside time for homework on Saturday night.
Where: Karman Executive Center, Bellevue, Washington
When: Saturdays & Sundays in spring
Fee: $1,150
Parenting the Shy Child
Shy children need our help. In this class, we’ll cover the basics — the origins of shyness, methods of overcoming shyness, social skills you can teach in your home, and tips for working with teachers to help your child fit in at school, etc.
Where: Karman Executive Center, Bellevue, Washington
When: From 5:30 pm to 7:30 pm, from November 16th to 18th
Fee: $95
Overcoming Shyness: Skills-Training for Adolescents: Workshop
This is a special class for adolescents designed to teach social skills shy people are afraid to use. We’ll cover everything from how to start conversations with strangers to ways to calm your nerves when you do. You’ll learn what makes some people more popular than others and simple things you can do to feel more like you fit it.
Where: Karman Executive Center, Bellevue, Washington
When: From 3:30 pm to 5:30 pm, on December 18th
Fee: $75
【小题1】What are the classes designed for?| A．Overcoming shyness. | B．Building confidence. | C．Scheduling time. | D．Starting conversations. |
| A．It focuses on language skills. | B．It is offered only at weekends. |
| C．It assigns a lot of housework. | D．It is designed for shy children. |
| A．$1,150. | B．$435. | C．$95. | D．$75. |
Everybody is afraid of something. That’s what more than 1,700 kids told us when we asked them about fears and scary stuff. We gave kids a list of 14 scary things and asked which one frightened them most. Here are the top 5 answers from our survey (调查)：① Scary movies and TV shows；②Scary dreams；③Thunderstorms，hurricanes(飓风)；and other horrible weather；④War and terrorism (恐怖行动)；⑤Sounds heard at night.
But not everyone is afraid of the same thing. And what makes one person scared can be of no big deal for someone else. Plenty of kids said their biggest fear wasn’t on our list.
What is fear?
Fear is a feeling that everyone has—it’s programmed into all of us—and that’s a good thing because fear is there to protect us. We’re born with a sense of fear so we can react to something that could be dangerous. The baby cries，and their mom comes over to comfort him or her，helping the baby feel safe and OK again.
Real vs. Pretend
The best way to get over a fear is to get more information about it. As kids get older，they understand more and start seeing the difference between what is real and unreal. So when William’s imagination leads him to think of witches，he can tell himself，“Wait a minute. They’re only pretend things. I don’t need to worry about them.”
The same goes for the dark. A kid’s imagination can start playing tricks when the lights go out. What’s under my bed？Is that a thief I hear？With the help of a parent，kids can get more comfortable in the dark. Using a nightlight or shining a flashlight under the bed to see that there’s nothing there can help kids fight that fear.
【小题1】What did the writer find out from the survey?| A．Some people have never experienced fear. |
| B．Kids don’t like watching scary movies. |
| C．All people are afraid of something. |
| D．People often cry loudly when they are scared. |
| A．The list of fears is not complete. |
| B．The things people fear are of no big deal. |
| C．Kids have more fears than people think. |
| D．People are afraid of different things. |
| A．having a sense of fear is not a bad thing |
| B．babies have a weak sense of fear |
| C．fear is not something that we are born with |
| D．not all people can react to dangerous things |
Everyone feels anxious or nervous at times. Feelings like these can surface when you face a challenge.
●Start with a growth mindset (思想倾向).
Some people have a fixed mindset. They might think, “This is how I am. I get anxious before speaking in class. So I don’t raise my hand.” With a fixed mindset, people don’t think things can change. But people with a growth mindset know they can get better at just about everything — with effort and practice.
●Notice what anxiety feels like for you.
Get to know the body feelings that are part of anxiety. When you’re anxious, do you feel “butterflies”? Shaky hands? A faster heartbeat? Know that these feelings are part of the body’s normal response to a challenge.
●
When you’re anxious, it’s common to tell yourself things like, “I can’t do this.” Or “What if I mess this up?” Instead, tell yourself something that could help you face the moment with a bit of courage, “It’s OK to feel anxious. I can do this anyway.” It’s facing the anxiety that helps you manage it. This is called exposure.
Learning to cope with anxiety takes time and patience. Most of all, it takes practice and willingness to face it. It starts with one small step.
| A．Give it all of your attention. |
| B．That includes dealing with anxiety. |
| C．Talk yourself through anxiety and face it. |
| D．They’re not harmful and they fade on their own. |
| E．It can help you “reset” and be ready to move forward. |
| F．For example, you might feel nervous before taking big exams. |
| G．The more you practice, the better you’ll get at managing anxiety. |
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