A patient and I are working on an eating disorder, trying to find out the cause. It turned out to be a relationship break-up in high school. The unpleasant experience led to not eating for a couple of weeks. Then comes a compliment (赞美) from a friend that totally has the opposite effect. “Wow, you look great!” Suddenly, this praise inspires an inner thought: “Oh, people care more about me if I lose weight. So I can control people’s affection by not eating.”
Consider busy parents who don’t notice their child until a good grade appears. In the absence of attention and connection, a sudden strong expression of well-intended praise can bring about the thought, “Wow, my grades make me valuable. I’m noticed when I achieve!” The result can be a twisted view of self-value and an anxiety around grades, exams, and performance. A similar situation occurs with athletic success or high praise for being “nice”. The result is a false mindset: “My worth is totally tied to this desirable behavior.”
So what’s a better way? One answer is to exit the game of “right and wrong” and enter a focus on what needs are present. Returning to our example above, when you see someone has lost weight and you want to give them a compliment, just pause and simply ask, “How are you doing?” See them and hear them. Appreciate them as a person of great value. There may be much more to their inner world than meets the eye.
Similarly, when you see someone’s success, appreciate the hard work they put into it. Ask with gentle curiosity, “How’s it been for you?” Listening with full attention can be a rare gift in today’s world. See if you can understand them from the bigger frame of what they’ve experienced, how they’re feeling, and what they’re needing now.
【小题1】What can we learn from paragraph 2?A.It’s parents duty to care for their children. |
B.A strong expression of praise should be prevented. |
C.Well-intended praise can result in unwanted results. |
D.Praise from parents encourages kids to work harder. |
A.It is not favored. | B.It makes people proud. |
C.It underestimates human value. | D.It fails to cheer people up. |
A.It’s so kind of you to help me with my work! |
B.I appreciate your great efforts to get there! |
C.You always perform best among us! |
D.You look young for your age! |
A.Doubtful. | B.Unclear. | C.Indifferent. | D.Approving. |
Cool, Unusual and Awesome Ways to Volunteer
Are you wondering what kind of volunteering you could be doing while traveling?
Volunteer for agriculture farming programs.
Do a beach clean.
If you’re on your travels right now reading this post from a sunny beach, you can instantly become a volunteer by picking up some trash.
Whether you’re a graphic designer, writer, engineer, or just great at English, you can donate your time by giving away your services for free. You could do this in person by teaching English, or there are volunteer sites that allow you to give guidance and instructions virtually to people most in need across the world.
Become a fly-over creator.
Hikers and cyclists taking on trails in preserves and nature areas rely on maps to find their way.
A.Share your talents. |
B.Become a volunteer teacher. |
C.Plastic is a huge issue facing our oceans. |
D.There are many other roles available, including editing maps. |
E.There are many fun and interesting ways to donate your time to volunteering. |
F.But these maps aren’t generated by authorities, most created by volunteers. |
G.Sustainable agricultural projects are a great way to combine volunteering and travel. |
Listening is one of the four primary forms of communication, along with reading, writing, and speaking.
Stand in another man’s shoes. To become a genuine listener, you need to take off your shoes and stand in another man’s. In the words of Robert Byrne, “Until you walk a mile in another man’s shoes you can’t imagine the smell.”
Practice mirroring. Think like a mirror. What does a mirror do? It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t give advice. It reflects. Mirroring is simply this: Repeat back in your own words what the other person is saying and feeling. Mirroring isn’t mimicking. Mimicking is when you repeat exactly what the other person says, like a parrot. If you practice mirroring but don’t really desire to understand others, they will see through it. If your attitude is right but you don’t have the skill, you’ll be okay.
A.Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears |
B.But it doesn’t work the other way around |
C.Although you can choose an interesting topic |
D.However, many people don’t know how to listen |
E.No matter how hard people may appear on the surface |
F.Communicate with others as often as possible |
G.You must try to see the world as they see it and feel as they feel |
Are you confused about what to do next when you plan a birthday celebration for your loved family member or try to help your family prepare for birthdays?
Form a band. If you want to fully enjoy yourselves, instead of turning on the music on the computer or phone, you can invite your classmates to form a band for your family member’s birthday. They can play a much music as you like.
Find a meeting place. Many people like to hold their parties at home.
Invite a special guest. Birthdays are often more memorable than the rest. To ensure your loved one’s party is special, besides gifts, think about someone you can invite that your family member will be happy and surprised to see.
A.Buy a special cake. |
B.Make a cake at home. |
C.It’s not always easy to know where to begin. |
D.You extremely want to get special birthday gifts. |
E.It can be a friend your family member expects to see. |
F.All of you will enjoy you selves in the live music this way. |
G.But not everyone’s house is big enough for a birthday party. |
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