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A patient and I are working on an eating disorder, trying to find out the cause. It turned out to be a relationship break-up in high school. The unpleasant experience led to not eating for a couple of weeks. Then comes a compliment (赞美) from a friend that totally has the opposite effect. “Wow, you look great!” Suddenly, this praise inspires an inner thought: “Oh, people care more about me if I lose weight. So I can control people’s affection by not eating.”

Consider busy parents who don’t notice their child until a good grade appears. In the absence of attention and connection, a sudden strong expression of well-intended praise can bring about the thought, “Wow, my grades make me valuable. I’m noticed when I achieve!” The result can be a twisted view of self-value and an anxiety around grades, exams, and performance. A similar situation occurs with athletic success or high praise for being “nice”. The result is a false mindset: “My worth is totally tied to this desirable behavior.”

So what’s a better way? One answer is to exit the game of “right and wrong” and enter a focus on what needs are present. Returning to our example above, when you see someone has lost weight and you want to give them a compliment, just pause and simply ask, “How are you doing?” See them and hear them. Appreciate them as a person of great value. There may be much more to their inner world than meets the eye.

Similarly, when you see someone’s success, appreciate the hard work they put into it. Ask with gentle curiosity, “How’s it been for you?” Listening with full attention can be a rare gift in today’s world. See if you can understand them from the bigger frame of what they’ve experienced, how they’re feeling, and what they’re needing now.

【小题1】What can we learn from paragraph 2?
A.It’s parents duty to care for their children.
B.A strong expression of praise should be prevented.
C.Well-intended praise can result in unwanted results.
D.Praise from parents encourages kids to work harder.
【小题2】Why should we avoid misused praise?
A.It is not favored.B.It makes people proud.
C.It underestimates human value.D.It fails to cheer people up.
【小题3】Which of the following can be a better praise?
A.It’s so kind of you to help me with my work!
B.I appreciate your great efforts to get there!
C.You always perform best among us!
D.You look young for your age!
【小题4】What is the author’s attitude toward praise?
A.Doubtful.B.Unclear.C.Indifferent.D.Approving.
23-24高二上·四川自贡·期末
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Cool, Unusual and Awesome Ways to Volunteer

Are you wondering what kind of volunteering you could be doing while traveling? 【小题1】 Here are some unusual ways you could volunteer on your trip.


Volunteer for agriculture farming programs.

【小题2】 If you love being in nature, you’ll love helping local farmers on their plantations, and you’ll learn about organic farming while you’re doing it.


Do a beach clean.

If you’re on your travels right now reading this post from a sunny beach, you can instantly become a volunteer by picking up some trash. 【小题3】 By doing a beach clean whenever we visit our sandy shores, we’re doing our small part to help the environment.


【小题4】

Whether you’re a graphic designer, writer, engineer, or just great at English, you can donate your time by giving away your services for free. You could do this in person by teaching English, or there are volunteer sites that allow you to give guidance and instructions virtually to people most in need across the world.


Become a fly-over creator.

Hikers and cyclists taking on trails in preserves and nature areas rely on maps to find their way. 【小题5】 There are tons of apps that let you share your trails and you get the satisfaction of knowing you’ve helped out your fellow adventurers.

A.Share your talents.
B.Become a volunteer teacher.
C.Plastic is a huge issue facing our oceans.
D.There are many other roles available, including editing maps.
E.There are many fun and interesting ways to donate your time to volunteering.
F.But these maps aren’t generated by authorities, most created by volunteers.
G.Sustainable agricultural projects are a great way to combine volunteering and travel.

Listening is one of the four primary forms of communication, along with reading, writing, and speaking. 【小题1】. There’s a higher form of listening, fortunately, which leads to real communication. We call it “genuine listening”. And it’s the kind of practice we want to put to use. But to do genuine listening, you need to do three things differently.

【小题2】. It is reported that only 7 percent of communication is contained in the words we use. The rest comes from body language (53 percent) and how we say words, or the tone and feeling reflected in our voice ( 40percent). To hear what other people are really saying, you also need to listen to what they’re not saying. 【小题3】, most everyone is tender inside and has a strong need to be understood.

Stand in another man’s shoes. To become a genuine listener, you need to take off your shoes and stand in another man’s. In the words of Robert Byrne, “Until you walk a mile in another man’s shoes you can’t imagine the smell.” 【小题4】.

Practice mirroring. Think like a mirror. What does a mirror do? It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t give advice. It reflects. Mirroring is simply this: Repeat back in your own words what the other person is saying and feeling. Mirroring isn’t mimicking. Mimicking is when you repeat exactly what the other person says, like a parrot. If you practice mirroring but don’t really desire to understand others, they will see through it. If your attitude is right but you don’t have the skill, you’ll be okay. 【小题5】. If you have both the attitude and the skill, you’ll become a powerful communicator!

A.Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears
B.But it doesn’t work the other way around
C.Although you can choose an interesting topic
D.However, many people don’t know how to listen
E.No matter how hard people may appear on the surface
F.Communicate with others as often as possible
G.You must try to see the world as they see it and feel as they feel

Are you confused about what to do next when you plan a birthday celebration for your loved family member or try to help your family prepare for birthdays? 【小题1】 Here are some tips on birthday celebrations to get you started.

【小题2】 Rather than making a birthday cake in the kitchen, ordering a handmade cake online is undoubtedly a better choice. You just choose a special theme, and then you’ll have a beautiful professional cake to present to your guests.

Form a band. If you want to fully enjoy yourselves, instead of turning on the music on the computer or phone, you can invite your classmates to form a band for your family member’s birthday. They can play a much music as you like. 【小题3】

Find a meeting place. Many people like to hold their parties at home. 【小题4】 You can save a large amount of stress by finding a meeting place outside. Maybe an open park is good for a birthday party as long as it doesn’t disturb the people around.

Invite a special guest. Birthdays are often more memorable than the rest. To ensure your loved one’s party is special, besides gifts, think about someone you can invite that your family member will be happy and surprised to see. 【小题5】 If you take the time and care to plan or prepare for your family member’s party, you can make her or his day extra special.

A.Buy a special cake.
B.Make a cake at home.
C.It’s not always easy to know where to begin.
D.You extremely want to get special birthday gifts.
E.It can be a friend your family member expects to see.
F.All of you will enjoy you selves in the live music this way.
G.But not everyone’s house is big enough for a birthday party.

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