It is not only praise or punishment that determines a child’s level of confidence. There are some other important ways we shape our kids—particularly by giving instructions and commands in a negative or positive choice of words. For example, we can say to a child “Don’t run into traffic! ”or “Stay on the footpath close to me.” In using the latter, you will be helping your kids to think and act positively, and to feel competent in a wide range of situations, because they know what to do, and aren’t scaring themselves with what not to do.
Actually, it is all in the way the human mind works. When we think, we automatically practise. For example, if someone offered you a million dollars not to think of a blue monkey for two minutes, you wouldn’t be able to do it. When a child is told “Don’t fall off the tree,” he will think of two things: “don’t” and “fall off the tree”. That is, he will automatically create the picture of falling off the tree in his mind. A child who is vividly imagining falling off the tree is much more likely to fall off. So it is far better to use “Hold on to the tree carefully.”
Clear, positive instructions help kids to understand the right way to do things. Kids do not always know how to be safe, or how to react to the warning of the danger in negative words. So parents should make their commands positive. “Sam, hold on firmly to the side of the boat” is much more useful than “Don’t you dare to fall out of the boat?” or “How do you think I’ll feel if you drown?” The changes are small but the difference is obvious.
Children learn how to guide and organize themselves from the way we guide them with our words, so it pays to be positive.
【小题1】Why do we choose positive words when giving kids commands?| A．to help them to learn in different situations | B．to increase their confidence |
| C．to guide them to do things carefully | D．to improve their imagination |
| A．A child will act on what is instructed. |
| B．One won’t think of a blue monkey when given money. |
| C．A child will fall off the tree when told not to. |
| D．One can’t help imagining what is heard. |
| A．How do you think I’ll feel if you get hurt? |
| B．Don’t walk on the grass. |
| C．Stay on the sidewalk until it’s safe to cross. |
| D．Don’t you dare to walk through the red light? |
| A．Positive instructions guide kids | B．Praise makes kids confident |
| C．Right instructions keep kids safe | D．Clear commands make kids different |
