There is a difference between being an acquaintance（熟人）and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around. It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are the people who you don't share your life with, and whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

【小题1】 Amy and Jenny have been close friends for eight years since primary school. Whether they’re walking to school, doing homework or just hanging out on the weekend, they’re hardly out of each other’s sight. But things changed last Saturday.

Their original plan was to see a film that afternoon. But Jenny posted a message on social media saying she had a cold. 【小题2】 Amy告诉她回家休息。However, instead of recovering at home, Jenny was seen by one of their classmates to be out having fun with someone else. When Amy heard this, she was very angry. 【小题3】   Now she doesn’t know what to do next and turns to online communities for advice.

Cindy thinks 【小题4】 他们的友谊值得挽救: eight years is a long time. They should find an opportunity to have a talk with each other to solve the problem. In David’s opinion, if Amy was tricked by her friend, she can let go of their friendship. It’s sad to move on, but 【小题5】   she has to accept that friends come and go in life.

Silent friends in a life storm

My dad died unexpectedly a few months ago and I feel angry with some of my oldest friends, who have hardly contacted me since it happened.

Three months on, I’ve finally heard from some of them through text about other matters. I didn’t mention my sad stories, and they didn’t ask.

I understand that death is a frightening subject and that people might worry about saying the wrong thing. Yet I still feel a bit hurt by their lack of contact after my dad’s funeral (葬礼).

Now I don’t want to face them because I don’t want to make them feel guilty (内疚的). Normally they are extremely good friends who I love very much. I have other friends, so I can manage this without their support. I just want to let go of the anger so I can get through this sadness. Hope to receive your advice.

Yours,

Amy

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s death.

Your anger may come from being unable to ask for the help you need. You also seem worried about troubling your friends too much.

It is likely that your friends are very concerned about you. Perhaps their own fear of the subject is too big to comfort you and, just as you say, they are frightened of saying the wrong thing. Also, people often want to “fix” things, but no one can fix death, so they may feel powerless to help you. In these situations, you have to be brave to break the ice and tell them not only what you need, but also how to offer help.

If you really can’t ask your “silent” friends for help, maybe you could count more on those other friends. You might find some psychological (心理的) treatment useful as well. Talking to someone with professional knowledge who understands your situation can help you carry the burden of sadness.

Yours,

Annalisa

Yours,

Amy