One of the cores of emotional intelligence is self-regulation, an important skill in the workplace. Like any skill, mastery of emotional self-control requires intentionality and practice. 【小题1】.

Pause to Mentally Distance

When you notice your typical physiological experiences associated with strong negative emotion, what should you do? Mentally step out of your immediate experience. Asking yourself any question, or imagining what you might look like to others right now, will do the trick. At that point, although still physiologically keyed up, you will be able to ask yourself, “What is the best course of action right now?” or “What advice would I give someone else who is in my shoes?” 【小题2】.

Take Control of Your Self-Talk

We’re frequently unaware of how much self-chatter is going on in the background of our minds. Such self-talk might not be in fully articulated (铰接式的) words or phrases, but instead little flashes of thought. Becoming aware of your self-talk can be difficult. Why is this an important skill to develop? 【小题3】. To genuinely ease a strong negative emotion requires tackling the source by examining the underlying belief and how accurate, reasonable, or useful it is.

Seek Support from Partners

Ask others you trust to help you recognize when your emotions seem to be getting the best of you. 【小题4】. Agree on a gesture or word that might serve as a signal that your trusted individual wonders whether you’re riding the led-by-your-limbic-system train. Of course, there will be times they’re wrong. So, it’s important not to respond defensively when you get that signal. Reacting with anything other than gratitude ensures that your partner won’t take that risk again.

Cultivate (培养) Curiosity

Our brains are wired to draw conclusions and form judgments at lightning speed, and those are frequently the cause of our negative emotions. 【小题5】, but we tend to run with them, sparking the self-talk that follows. Generally working to be more curious about other people’s experiences, including their self-identified motives for their behavior, helps avoid making hasty judgments.