One of the cores of emotional intelligence is self-regulation, an important skill in the workplace. Like any skill, mastery of emotional self-control requires intentionality and practice.
Pause to Mentally Distance
When you notice your typical physiological experiences associated with strong negative emotion, what should you do? Mentally step out of your immediate experience. Asking yourself any question, or imagining what you might look like to others right now, will do the trick. At that point, although still physiologically keyed up, you will be able to ask yourself, “What is the best course of action right now?” or “What advice would I give someone else who is in my shoes?”
Take Control of Your Self-Talk
We’re frequently unaware of how much self-chatter is going on in the background of our minds. Such self-talk might not be in fully articulated (铰接式的) words or phrases, but instead little flashes of thought. Becoming aware of your self-talk can be difficult. Why is this an important skill to develop?
Seek Support from Partners
Ask others you trust to help you recognize when your emotions seem to be getting the best of you.
Cultivate (培养) Curiosity
Our brains are wired to draw conclusions and form judgments at lightning speed, and those are frequently the cause of our negative emotions.
A.They are comfortable with all emotions |
B.Those judgments are not necessarily accurate |
C.Doing so provides you with choices as to how to act |
D.Explain your developmental goals and sincerely ask for help |
E.Stay focused on coming up with an answer and following through on it |
F.Because it is those background beliefs that fuel our emotional responses |
G.Here are four ways you can develop greater emotional self-management |
Some people look as if they are simply born with the certain social skill that enables them to make friends with such ease that it seems pretty unbelievable. They end up having tons of friends in no time.
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Having fun on your own is the first step towards making a good basis for a future friendship. If you learn how to have fun on your own, it is more likely that you will meet someone who has similar interests and also needs a friend.
◎Expand your view and find new things to do
When you have many things you like doing, the better chances are that you will be meeting people who are also into the same things. You can also make friends with someone without the same hobbies. There is no rule that you have to be friends with those who like the same things.
◎Social gatherings are the best way of meeting friends
Every time you have a chance to get together with others, don’t miss it.
◎Make the circle of your friends with confidence
After doing everything above, you will notice at one point how you’ve got your confidence back.
A.It’s just easier, nothing else |
B.Still, not all people are like that |
C.Get out of your comfort zone a bit |
D.Learn how to entertain yourself first |
E.No one else is going to make it happen for you |
F.Almost any social party is suitable for making friends |
G.That is the most important in improving your social skills |
To be more grateful (感恩的) in life means that you are also allowing yourself to be happier and more satisfied with everything that has been going on around you. But with all the stress, all the disappointments and all the anxiety around you. I bet you ask yourself this question all the time: “How exactly can I be more grateful with my life?”
1. Learn to live in the moment.
Life is a wonderful adventure full of enriching experiences and endless possibilities. Don’t just go through the motions of (走过场) repetitive(重复乏味的) activities and boring tasks. No! Being a mindless zombie (行尸走肉) can make you more likely to take things for granted (对……不予重视).
You’re supposed to attend a conference? Absorb it. Babysit your niece? Enjoy the moment. Eat a 15-minute lunch? Taste each bite.
2.
Being aware of your goal to be more grateful can help you look for things to be really more grateful for. Gratitude is a conscious decision. You have to practice it consistently (持续的,始终如一地).
3.Control your thoughts.
Of course you have the power to control what you’re thinking of! Consider this exercise, for example: if you find yourself thinking more and more self-entitled (自我为中心), stop.
4. Always resist the temptation (诱惑) of comparing yourself with other people.
As humans, we have the natural tendency (倾向、偏好)to compare ourselves with others with the hope of attaining satisfaction. Actually, this kind of activity does not help you feel to be more grateful in life.
Don’t do it, please.
Every little thing counts. You have the ability to make yourself feel to be more grateful in your life.
A.Appreciate what you had in the past |
B.And if you find yourself repeating negative (消极的) junk, stop |
C.It does the opposite |
D.Egress gratitude all the time |
E.Well, the following are some tips to help you with this particular concern (忧虑) |
F.Instead of doing something just for the sake of (为了) doing it |
G.Words that stress you and make you feel worthless should definitely be removed |
Ted talks bitterly about being made to play the clarinet as a kid. For three years during his teens, his parents required him to spend an hour after dinner every night practicing. His parents wanted him to be in the marching band. They disagreed with him when he thought maybe jazz was more his thing.
Angela was forced to take up the violin when she was 12. During her practice, she would close her bedroom door, lay the violin on her bed and pull the bow back and forth across the strings while reading her favorite novels. Then she tried to make them believe that maybe the violin wasn’t for her.
The parents of both of the kids were wellintentioned(出于好心的).
They weren’t wrong to want music in their kids’ lives.
●Music can help adjust the mood.
●Making music and listening to it develop the part of the brain that is involved with language and reasoning.
●So many mathematicians, engineers and architects are also musicians. There are facts showing that learning an instrument helps in the development of spatial-temporal skills.
●Making music is a way to make friends and to improve self-esteem.
●Best of all, playing an instrument is a skill that can be enjoyed and shared over a lifetime.
Both Ted’s and Angela’s parents’ hearts were in the right place. But they, like many parents, failed to understand that providing lessons would not make their kids into musicians if practicing was a chore(令人厌烦的工作) instead of a pleasure. Music educators are clear:
A.They wanted him to love his instrument. |
B.Playing instruments is good for your health. |
C.Much to her relief, they stopped the lessons. |
D.Understanding kids is very important, especially for parents. |
E.Kid’s success in music depends on parental involvement. |
F.There are many good reasons to give kids lessons on an instrument. |
G.They believed that playing an instrument would give their kid some kind of advantage. |
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