Finding the Real Me

I had thought losing my job was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Losing my job was not the end of who I was but literally the beginning of discovering the real me.

It started out as one of the best days of my life, and certainly, of my career. My staff and I had been named the number one unit in our company, and I was taking them out for a celebratory lunch. Lunch was fun, the food was excellent, and the friendly atmosphere at the table made me smile. The weather was crisp, cool and sunny. I thought to myself “It just doesn’t get any better than this.” It was a perfect day!

Then came the teleconference at two o’clock as usual.

“Er, if you... if you are willing to move?” stuttered our associate director, voice trembling, “and if you cannot move, you will be given a severance package (遣散费), and ...”

How could this be happening? I felt numb, my world slowly coming to an end. My husband and family comforted me, but I was scared. Financially, I knew we would be okay. But I had worked full-time my whole life and it had become my identity — who I was and how I defined myself. I was a leader, and I felt, a good one. What would I be with that taken from me?

After sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I just casually turned on the television. A program caught my attention — a group of volunteers were helping children and hungry people all over the world. It struck me! I felt guilty knowing that even though I had lost my job, we had plenty of good, healthy food on the table every night. The words spoken by a volunteer seemed directed specifically at me — The best way to be blessed and to forget about your own problem is to help someone else. Ashamed, I realized that I had been abandoned to self-pity when I had so much to be thankful for and to do — a loving husband, beautiful children, and family and friends who needed me.

Paragraph 1: I decided to cook a great meal for my family that night.

Paragraph 2: The next morning, I announced to my family that I was going to start a cooking school for them.

One morning Jack woke up with an aching arm. He touched it carefully with one finger. Ow! That really hurt! He climbed out of bed and put on his dressing gown(睡袍), very, very carefully. Then he went downstairs.

Mum was in the kitchen, searching for cornflakes(玉米片)in the cupboard.

“We’re out of cornflakes again,” she said, not looking round.

“Mum,” Jack began, “I think there’s something wrong with my…”

But at that moment, Lucy, Jack’s twin sister, came into the kitchen.

“Mum,” she cried, “I’m very, very ill! Very ill indeed! My stomach hurts really, really bad! I am far too sick to go to school!”

Mum was worried. She felt Lucy’s forehead. “You do feel hot. But you were fine yesterday.”

“I’m not fine now,” said Lucy. “Please, Mum. Can I go back to bed?”

Lucy didn’t even want breakfast. Jack tried to tell Mum about his arm. But Mum was too worried about Lucy.

“Please just get dressed, Jack, or you will be late for school!”

Mum stayed home to look after Lucy. Dad gave Jack a lift to school, and Jack tried to explain about his arm. “I was playing football yesterday and I hit my arm and it still hurts,” he said.

“Probably just a bruise(瘀伤),” said Dad. “I hope Lucy is better soon. She looked a bit feverish to me.”

It’s always about Lucy, thought Jack crossly.

At school, Jack had to be very careful of his arm. He had to keep it really still. Luckily he could still write with his other hand. At home, Mum was looking after Lucy. She put her back to bed and brought her a glass of warm water. She read her a story.

“How do you feel now?” she asked. “Would you like to try a little breakfast?”

“I can’t eat a thing,” said Lucy.

Mum was worried. It wasn’t like Lucy not to eat anything. She bent down to pick Lucy’s teddy bear off the floor. As she did so, she caught sight of something under the bed.

A huge pile of candy wrappers(包装纸)! And an empty box!

Mrs Smailes, the headteacher, came running to meet them. ”I think you need to go straight to hospital. Jack is there!"

It was the closing time of the mall. But there was still an hour’s work to get everything cleaned up. It would be 11:00 pm after I finally got home.

I hadn’t even had time to have dinner. I was starving. My feet ached. My whole body, from head to foot, was filled with tiredness. I couldn’t wait to crawl into bed. I had to get up at 5:00 am the next day.

Things had been tight for over a year. My husband Paul’s business had taken a huge hit. Without me taking my second job, there wouldn’t be enough money at the end of the month to pay the bills, let alone buy any Christmas presents for our 15­year­old daughter, Marie. No one wanted to wake up on Christmas morning with a bare tree.

Even so, I wondered how I could possibly handle everything — I worked full­time at a day care, then I worked nights at the mall, and somehow I did my homework for my college class, too. Not to mention what it was doing to my family.

I barely even saw Paul and my daughter anymore. Marie was growing up, but a teenage girl still needed her mom. I worried about her, about us. Was she eating enough? Keeping up with her school work?

I wasn’t afraid of hard work or sacrifice (牺牲). Everyone had to dig deeper these days and put in extra hours. I knew I was blessed to have two jobs when millions of people couldn’t find one. How I hoped to quit my job at the day care and complete a degree full­time. I’d dropped one class for a semester (学期). If I quit that, there was no way I’d find the willpower to try again.

Besides, wasn’t I always telling Marie to keep hoping, keep working and never give up? What kind of example was I setting for my daughter? Suddenly, someone was banging hard at the back door of the mall. Then I went to the door and cautiously cracked it open...It was Marie. She had just finished babysitting.