When your Laker dream comes true tomorrow， you need to figure out a way to invest in the future of your family． This sounds simple， and you may think it's a no﹣brainer， but take some time to think on it further．

I said INVEST．

I did not say GIVE

Let me explain．

Purely giving material things to your siblings（兄弟姐妹） may appear to be right decision． So you buy them a car， a big house， pay， all of their bill． You want them to live a beautiful comfortable life， right？

But the day will come when you realize that as much as you believed you were doing the right thing， you were actually holding them back．

You will come to understand that you were taking care of them because it made YOU feel good， it made YOU happy to see them smiling and without a care in the world ﹣ and that was extremely selfish of you． While you were feeling satisfied with yourself， you were slowly eating away at their own dreams and ambitions． You were adding material things to their lives， but subtracting the most precious gifts of all．

Invest in their future， don't just give．

Use your success， wealth and influence to put them in the best position to realize their own dreams and find their true purpose． Put them through school， set them up with job interviews and help them become leaders in their own right． Hold them to the same level of hard work and dedication that it took for you to get to where you are now， and where you will eventually go．

I'm writing you now so that you can begin this process immediately， and so that you don't have to deal with the hurt and struggle of weaning（断绝） them off of the addiction that you facilitated That addiction only leads to anger， hatred and jealousy from everybody involved， including yourself．

As time goes on， you will see them grow independently and have their own ambitions and their own lives， and your relationship with all of them will be much better as a result．

Trust me， setting things up right from the beginning will avoid a ton of tears and headache， some of which remains to this day．

Much love，

A pile of shoes on a front porch(门廊) isn't anything out of the ordinary for most households, but for Heather Duckworth it held a special meaning during her sons' 18th summer.

The mom, who has an11-year-old daughter, 18-year-old twin sons, and a 20-year-old son, wrote a heartfelt post about seeing a pile of shoes outside her door and all that it represents," These shoes mean that I have a house full of kids, mostly teenagers, in their summer holiday. These shoes mean there is probably no food left in my house. These shoes mean noise and mess but laughter and music as well."

When Duckworth returned from work and saw the shoes recently, they brought on a wave of sadness because she realized that things were changing. Most of the kids who wear the shoes have just graduated from high school and she realizes that time is precious in her 18th summer with her sons. She continues that she knows seeing the shoes in the house means that the kids are safe, but soon all the shoes will be "spread across college campuses "and she knows "all of these shoes might not find their way back home next summer as life takes them on new adventures."

The time might be bittersweet, but Duckworth wants to focus on creating happy memories rather than focusing on the sadness that could come. She is going to be thankful for the shoes and enjoy every moment with the kid

The sentimental post generated a massive amount of interest with it being shared over 88,000 times in a week and receiving 14,000 comments. Duckworth was touched by the comments and how the story resonated(共鸣) with so many . She responds,

" What a gift you all have given me in knowing that I am not alone in feeling this way. Motherhood is hard, but we are all in this together!"

There is an old Chinese proverb that states “One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.” and this is how it should be with mothers and daughters. The relationship between a mother and a daughter is sometimes confusing. The relationship can be similar to friendship. However, the mother and daughter relationship has unique characteristics that distinguish it from a friendship. These characteristics include a hierarchy(等级)of responsibilities and unconditional love, which preclude mothers and daughters from being best friends.

Marina, 27 years old, said, “I love spending time with my mom, but I wouldn’t consider her my best friend. Best friends don’t pay for your wedding. Best friends don’t remind you how they carried you in their body and gave you life! Best friends don’t tell you how wise they are because they have been living at least 20 years longer than you.”

This doesn’t mean that the mother and daughter relationship can’t be very close and satisfying. This generation of mothers and adult daughters has a lot in common, which increases the likelihood of shared companionship. Mothers and daughter shave always shared the common experience of being homemakers, responsible for maintaining and passing on family values and traditions. Today contemporary mothers and daughters also share the experience of work and technology, which may bring them even closer together.

Best friends may or may not continue to be best friends, but for better or worse, the mother and daughter relationship is permanent, even if for some unfortunate reason they aren’t speaking. Sometimes this is not an equal relationship. Daughters don’t always feel responsible for their mother’s emotional well-being. But mothers never stop being mothers, which includes frequently wanting to protect their daughters and often feeling responsible for their happiness. The mother and daughter relationship is a relationship that is not replaceable by any other. Mothers always “trump” friends.