The Advice Gap

Advice My Parents Gave Me: Go to college and major in what you love.

Advice I Will Give My Kids: Go to college only if you’ll major in science, engineering, or money. It’s a depressing job market, and majoring in English literature or anything with the word English in it has been useless since 1910s.

My Parents: Never show up to a party empty-handed.

Me: Never show up to a party. Send a text to the host twenty minutes before the party starts to say that you’re “sooooooo sorry” to cancel but your stomach is feeling “weird”.

My Parents: To find a job, walk into the offices of ABC News’s “This Week with George Stephanopoulos” and ask for one.

Me: Apply to jobs via LinkedIn, Zip-Recruiter, or your connections. Write a cover letter and attach your résumé, then manually enter the same information through the company’s portal, which looks as though it were designed in Microsoft Paint. Do this twenty times a day for two years, and you’re bound to make it to a third round of phone interviews before getting ghosted.

My Parents: Learn the difference between a 401(k) (an employer-sponsored defined-contribution pension account) and a Roth I. R. A. (a special retirement account) so that you can start investing early.

Me: Learn the difference between a 401(k) and a Roth I. R. A. so that you can explain it to me.

My Parents: Never wait to do your taxes.

Me: If you wait long enough to do your taxes, there might be a global crisis that forces the federal government to extend the deadline: Then you can wait some more and do them right before the new deadline.

My Parents: Work hard so you can save for retirement.

Me: Retirement is something you’ll read about in your history books under the title “Abstract Ideas”.

My Parents: When we’re gone, look after your siblings and never fight with them over money!

Me: When I’m gone, clear my browser history. Don’t quarrel with your siblings over who gets my monthly ten-cent payments from Medium (an American online publishing platform).

【小题1】Why do you think the author has written this passage?

A．To present a better guide for young people today.

B．To demonstrate the contemporary generation gap.

C．To exhibit his capability of living a worthy life.

D．To show his annoyance with his parents’ advice.

【小题2】Which of the following suggestions is the author most LIKELY to agree with?

A．Siblings shouldn’t fight with each other over whether to protect their gone parents’ privacy.

B．Science majors shouldn’t be favored over those related to English in college.

C．Job seekers should try various means and prepare for depressing prospects.

D．You should check your stomach first before texting to the host of a party.

【小题3】When it comes to finances, the author may hold the idea that         .

A．saving for retirement may be a thing of the past

B．the younger generation may inherit the legacy of their parents’ payment bills from Medium in the future

C．the knowledge about a 401(k) and a Roth I. R. A is so significant for early investment that children should have a good knowledge of it by themselves

D．doing taxes is absolutely urgent, even allowing for unpredictable economic conditions