In the past decade or so, you may have heard the term “growth mindset” thrown around a lot. Many influencers and self-improvement coaches talk about how it is something we should all be fighting for with great efforts. 【小题1】 Here are a few ways you can start training your brain.

Start worrying if you’re working hard enough.

As Dr. Dwek explains: “genius is not enough; we need to get the job done.” At the end of the day, does it really matter how intelligent you are if you get the job done? Of course not. 【小题2】 Stop judging your worth based on how smart you see yourself to be, and start focusing on trying your best, learning along the way, building a growth mindset, and enjoying the process.

【小题3】

People with fixed mindsets often see failures as reflections of their own intelligence or skill, so they end up giving up when confronted with disappointment. But instead of seeing failure as a negative thing, reframe it as an opportunity to learn something. If this set of actions resulted in failure, how could you change things next time to result in success? This is a huge part of developing a growth mindset.

Praise effort rather than outcomes.

In Dr. Dwek’s book, she writes: “after seven experiments with hundreds of children, we had some of the clearest findings I’ve ever seen: 【小题4】 Children love praise, especially to be praised for their intelligence and talent. It really does give them a boost, a special glow, but only for the moment. The minute they encounter difficulties, their confidence goes out the window, and their motivation hits the bottom. If success means they’re smart, then failure means they’re dumb. 【小题5】

In whatever small ways you can, begin to explore what it feels like to have a growth mindset. With a growth mindset, anything is possible. You may just be surprised at all the amazing things you accomplish.

People-pleasers do whatever they can to make other people happy. 【小题1】 It will become a problem if you pursue the happiness of others at the expense of your own emotional wellbeing.

So, how can you stop being a people-pleaser?

【小题2】

It’s important to know your limits and then communicate those limits. Be clear and specific about what you’re willing to take on. If anyone asks for too much, let him know he crosses a limit and that you won’t be able to help.

Start small.

【小题3】 Therefore, it is better to begin in small ways. Start by saying no to smaller requests, try expresing your opinion about something small, or ask for something that you need. For example, try saying no to a text request. 【小题4】 Practice in different settings or situations such as when talking to salespeople, ordering at a restaurant, or even dealing with colleagues.

Set goals and determine priorities.

Where do you want to spend your time? Who do you want to help? What goals are you trying to achieve? Knowing your priorities can help you determine whether or not you have the time and energy to devote to something. As you practice saying no to things you don’t want to do, you’ll find that you have more time to devote to the things that are really important to you.

【小题5】

As teenagers grow up, it can be easy for some to form bad habits. To prevent harmful habits from dominating a teenager’s life is necessary. They must learn to recognize bad habits early and make proper changes. To change bad habits isn’t easy, even with many tries.

According to modern psychology(心理学)，we must first learn about the “habit cycle”， which works like this:Firstly, there is a “cue”, an action, event, or situation that acts as a signal to do something. Secondly, there is a “routine”, the regular action you take in response to the cue. Thirdly, there is the “reward”, the good thing or feeling we get from the routine. For example, when we feel unhappy (cue), we eat lots of unhealthy snacks (routine) which makes us feel happy (reward). The reward makes us much more likely to continue the cycle, and the bad habit of depending on unhealthy snacks is formed.

To help a positive change in our bad habits, we must first check our bad habit cycles and then try to adapt them. We can do this by applying habit cycles with our own positive ideas. For example, we could try to replace a negative routine with something more positive. So, when we feel unhappy again (cue), rather than eat snacks, we could listen to some favourite music instead (routine), which will make us feel relaxed(reward).

Besides changing bad habits,we can also use the habit cycle to create good habits.For example,when we come to a lift (cue), our normal routine is to ride it,but we could change this routine into something more positive by taking the stairs instead.

Although changing bad habits takes time, yet by showing some self-control and taking many small steps repeatedly we will build a happy and healthy life full of good habits!