According to a 2022 report, nearly a quarter of people had relationships that were negatively affected by contradictory views during COVID-19. Even in normal times, we gain and lose friends all the time.【小题1】And, once you do, what’s the best way forward?

Be clear and responsible

Beyond conflicts over core values, there are many reasons why people stop being friends: maybe you just drifted apart after graduating; maybe one of you has hit a milestone (parenthood say) and the other can’t relate.【小题2】Ask yourself why you’re considering ending the friendship. Next: have you told that to the other person?

When to let it fade away

【小题3】He adds that a gradual fade can be fine—if both parties are aware it’s happening. In reality, there are certain situations where ghosting is the best strategy. Friendships can take on toxic(有毒的) qualities. According to one survey, 84 per cent of women and 75 per cent of men report having had a rude friend. 【小题4】

Find a silver lining

No matter how a friendship ends, it hurts to let go of someone you love. “Struggling to accept the situation is normal.” says Thomas.【小题5】Counter intuitive (违反直觉的) as it may seem, finding something to be grateful for in the former friendship can help, and it can also stop you from focusing on what you could have done differently. Thomas stresses that all relationships, at their core, are part of how we learn and grow.

I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention, and especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but listen to them. Just take them Just listen to what they’re saying and care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don’t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of the simply saying “I’m so sorry” when someone is in pain, and meaning it.

One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story, people often interrupted to tell her that they had once had something just like that happen to them. Eventually she stopped talking to most people. She was just too lonely. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know that we care. Many people with cancer can talk about the relief of having someone just listen.

I have ever learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues(纸巾), until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.

I know you probably don't realize it," Booth told her mother, "but you spend the first 20 to 30 minutes of every conversation complaining. " When her mother objected, the two agreed to start keeping a running timer. "When we sit down to talk, I'll bring a notebook," Booth says. "When she starts complaining, she will see me writing, catch herself, then stop. " 【小题1】 . But before long, it was clear that Booth's intervention not only helped her mother, it also helped their relationship. So, how do you get a chronic（长期的）complainer to realize the problem for the sake of your health and his?

Change the subject. 【小题2】 , some complainers will change their mood. If your neighbor is complaining about the phone company, tell him about an unexpected call you received from an old friend. If your coworker is complaining about your boss, ask whether he met the new employee.

【小题3】 . When a chronic complainer tells you about his latest problem, ask nicely what he has done to improve it.

Summarize the complaint. If your complainer keeps repeating himself, he may stop if you show that you're listening. 【小题4】 .

Be honest. When you have things to do, tell the complainer that you must cut the conversation short. 【小题5】 . Rather than pointing a finger at the other person, focus on the effect it's having on you.