Kindness and kids just seem to go hand in hand. But 62% of more than 2, 600 participants in the NBC News State of Kindness Poll believe that today’s kids are less kind than those in the past. Women (66%) feel about this kindness fall more strongly than men (58%). Most of the participants who feel that way (77%) thank parents caused the seeming lack of kindness among today’s children, with a few thinking that society, schools, or friends caused it.

At the same time, Americans say they don’t put kindness first when it comes to teaching kids values. Among all participants, honesty is taught more than kindness as well as other things like courage, leadership and storing work ethic (道德). But the younger generation—those aged 18～24—think highly of kindness rules. They choose kindness by 10% over honesty as the most important quality to teach kids.

The question of whether kindness is learned or taught—or somewhere in between—causes different opinions. According to the study, Americans have different opinions on whether kindness in something one is born with or needs to be learned and nurtured over time. Slightly more than half (52%) of the participants believe that all of us are born with the ability to show kindness, while 48% believe kindness must be developed.

Parenthood (父母身份) makes a difference to your thoughts on the causes of kindness. Those without kids (56%) are more likely to think that people are born to be kind, while 50% of the participants with kids think kindness is developed.

Also, 51% of dads and 54% of men with no kids believe kindness is something time is born with. Slightly more than half of the moms say kindness must be learned, while 48% believe it is what one is born with.

Bad communication, either written, oral, or body language, can send the wrong message in more ways than one. Here are some tips that will improve your communication skills.

【小题1】 Stand up straight, and it will show confidence. Smile, and you will seem approachable. Don’t cross your arms over your chest, because this tells people you disapprove. Keep your hands to your side, or if you are sitting, keep them in your lap.

Have confidence when you speak. If you are shy and quiet，project your voice. 【小题2】 Never turn your head away from someone when you are speaking to them, because it may show them you don’t care enough to give them your full attention, and it will make it harder for the other person to hear what you are saying.

【小题3】 If you always say “I’ve no idea of it”, it will make others feel like you don’t care enough to give a response, or that you aren’t knowledgeable enough to answer. When people ask questions, they want answers. 【小题4】 Say something like “I’m in the middle of something, can I get back to you?” or “I don’t want to ill advise you, let me find out for you.”

In written communication, always he clear. Before you send an e-mail, or any type of written communication, read over it at least once, to be sure it makes sense. 【小题5】 Written forms of communication can be tricky, because there is no way to put your tone of voice in, so if you feel like you are writing a message on a touchy subject that could he misunderstood, it’s probably best to have a face to face conversation.

An Apology Is Just a Step Toward Becoming a Better Person

No matter how hard we try, we can’t avoid hurting those we love. People are discovering they can’t stand the way their partners chew, talk and brush the cat. Since we probably can’t predict when our behaviors will annoy others, we need to learn how to make apologies afterward. A good apology has three parts.

First, show regret about the influence of your past behavior. A sincere apology means that you admit your choices negatively affected others. It involves regret or guilt - sometimes for what you’ve done to the other person, not necessarily for your own action.

Second, take responsibility in the present. Refusing to accept responsibility is not a sign of strength. It’s a sign of narcissism(自恋). In many situations, we’re too busy finding fault in the other person’s actions instead of accepting our role in the problem. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is when something is broken if it’s your responsibility to fix it. Taking responsibility is a recognition of the power that you gain when you stop blaming people.

Third, describe how you plan to improve in the future. You can’t right your wrongs if you don’t explain how you’re going to fix or prevent the problem. Then we should follow through on our promise so that we can earn forgiveness

The three steps are relatively easy to try. The hard part is finding the power to apologize, because it means feeling guilty about having done a bad thing and maybe even some shame at the thought of being a bad person. Psychologists have discovered a good solution to that: When you’ve hurt someone, think about your key values. If sympathy, justice or generosity show up on your list, you might realize that apologizing doesn’t mean admitting you’re a bad person. It’s just a step toward becoming a better person.