Precious family moments

When our three children were small, and I’d clean up after baths for the thousandth time, pick wet towels off the floor, squeeze water out of yellow rubber ducks and call the kids to come back and brush their teeth, I often thought of Someday.

Someday I’d do something important.

When I read bedtime stories, the same stories I’d read so many times that I knew them from memory, my brain froze from the repetition, and my mind wandered to Someday.

Someday life wouldn’t be so routine.

When I stared at a pound of frozen ground beef, considering my two standard options of spaghetti or sloppy joes, trying to remember when we last had what, I thought of Someday.

Someday I’d be creative.

Then one day I had an epiphany. I wasn’t one who was going to leave a mark on the world or build an empire. But I was going to leave a mark on this family, and I already had an empire. It was right under my nose, tucked in (盖好被子的) bed by 8 o'clock.

The Someday I often dreamed about was being shaped by all the todays and yesterdays. Someday was in the making now.

I was doing something important. Caring for children, creating family and trying to make a home that is a sanctuary (庇护所) from a rough world are some of the most important things a person can do.

Creativity? We didn’t always have ground beef. Sometimes we had chicken or fish. It wasn’t the food that mattered; it was being together around the table, the conversation, the laughing, the connecting.

As for routine, no routine stays the same. But even as the routine changes, basics are taught the fact that choices matter because choices become habits, and habits become a way of being, and that is how character takes root.

The things that matter most — knowing you’re loved and knowing how to love others, being generous, extending charity, working hard and recovering after failures and setbacks are learned little by little, one day at a time.

Someday is closer than you think.

Walking home from work with a family friend, I found myself in a discussion about her daughter's going to college.

It started with the mother telling me that she had no money to help her daughter go through college, which led the mother to push community college fiercely. She then started to say how she had been pushing “high-paying” fields on her daughter—doctor, engineer, lawyer, etc. When I asked her if that was what her daughter had interest in, she said no. I asked her what the point was to push her daughter into something that she didn't like, and she responded with, “I just want her to make a good fortune.”

After hearing her words, I would like to state that money is not everything. A high-paying job means nothing if you are miserable. I used to do a high-paid job, but it was very tiring and I had no time of my own. I didn't like it at all. Though the pay was good, I was not happy.

So I'd like to tell parents, please do not force your children into a major or a career just because you think they are going to make a lot of money. They would feel terrible for taking that major or job just to comfort you. The worst part is the feeling of guilty when they decide to change that major to something they actually want or when they quit that job.

Being a member of a generation who are willing to give absolutely everything to our kids, we know we just hope our children could live happy lives. Please do not force a career path on our children just because we think it is good for them. Give our children advice, but don't force them.