How to treat yourself with kindness

Let go of negative thought patterns and beliefs about yourself. Negative thoughts often come from outside people whose opinions we value and from whom we seek love and acceptance. For example, if you forgot to buy litter bags when you got groceries, you might say to yourself, “Ugh! 【小题1】 How could I forget that?” Instead of calling yourself stupid, you might think, “Oops! I forgot those annoying litter bags. I’ll just pick some up next time I go out -- no big deal.”

Accept your shortcomings as part of who you are. Everything you’ve done and everywhere you’ve been is a part of who you are. 【小题2】 Instead, accept that they’re all parts of the same whole. When you love yourself, you love all of you because you wouldn’t have the good without the bad.

【小题3】 If you expect yourself to be perfect all the time, you’ll never be pleased with anything you produce. This can lead to low self-esteem (自尊). Instead, make a point to appreciate the work you put into completing a task, rather than looking for faults in what you produced.

Practice gratitude for good things rather than focusing on the negative. It’s human nature to see negative things as bigger and more important than positive things, but this also does great damage to your self-esteem. When you find yourself focusing on negative events in your life, immediately try to name 3 to 5 things that you can be grateful for. 【小题4】

Speak kindly to yourself. For example, if you lose your job, you might think “I’m such a failure. 【小题5】” Stop. Take a deep breath and be more constructive. Think instead, “I lost my job, but I can learn from this experience to find and keep a new job that suits me better.”