In ancient Egypt, the pharaoh (法老) treated the poor message runner like a prince when he arrived at the palace, if he brought good news. However, if the exhausted runner had the misfortune to bring the pharaoh unhappy news, his head was cut off.

Shades of that spirit spread over today’s conversations. Once a friend and I packed up some peanut butter and sandwiches for an outing. As we walked light-heartedly out of the door, picnic basket in hand, a smiling neighbor looked up at the sky and said, “Oh, boy, bad day for a picnic. The weatherman says it's going to rain.” I wanted to strike him on the face with the peanut butter and sandwiches. Not for his stupid weather report, for his smile.

Several months ago I was racing to catch a bus. As I breathlessly put my handful of cash across the Greyhound counter, the sales agent said with a broad smile, “Oh, that bus left five minutes ago.” Dreams of head-cutting!

It’s not the news that makes someone angry. It’s the unsympathetic attitude with which it’s delivered. Everyone must give bad news from time to time, and big winners do it with the proper attitude. A doctor advising a patient that she needs an operation does it in a caring way. A boss informing an employee he didn’t get the job takes on a sympathetic tone. Big winners know, when delivering any bad news, they should share the feeling of the receiver.

Unfortunately, many people are not aware of this. When you’re tired from a long flight, has a hotel clerk cheerfully said that your room isn’t ready yet? When you had your heart set on the toast beef, has your waiter merrily told you that he just served the last piece? It makes you as traveler or diner want to land your fist (拳头) right on their unsympathetic faces.

Had my neighbor told me of the upcoming rainstorm with sympathy, I would have appreciated his warning. Had the Greyhound salesclerk sympathetically informed me that my bus had already left, I probably would have said, “Oh, that's all right. I’ll catch the next one.” Big winners, when they bear bad news, deliver bombs with the emotion the bombarded (被轰炸的) person is sure to have.

I attended a party one night. During the dinner a man told a humorous story based on the quotation: "There's a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will.”

The storyteller mentioned that the quotation was from the Bible. I knew he was wrong. There couldn't be the slightest doubt about it. To get a feeling of importance and display my superiority, I appointed myself as an unwelcome committee member to correct him. He stuck to his guns. "What? From Shakespeare? Impossible! Absurd! That quotation was from the Bible.” And he knew it.

The storyteller was sitting on my right; and Frank Gammond, an old friend of mine, was seated on my left. Mr. Gammond had devoted years to the study of Shakespeare. So the storyteller and I agreed to submit the question to Mr. Gammond. Mr. Gammond listened, kicked me under the table, and then said,"Dale, you are wrong. The gentleman is right. It is from the Bible."

On our way home that night, I said to Mr. Gammond, “Frank, you knew that quotation was from Shakespeare. "Yes, of course," he replied, “Hamlet，Act Five, Scene Two. But we were guests at a happy time, my dear Dale. Why argue with the storyteller? Why prove to him he is wrong? Why not let him save his face? Always avoid your sharp angle." I learned a lesson I'll   never forget. I not only had made the storyteller uncomfortable, but also had put my friend in an embarrassing situation. How much better it would have been had I not become argumentative.

Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right. You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it

Growing up, I never wore makeup and I was always more afraid of the mirror than anything else. I hadn't thought makeup was meant for me, a disabled woman, until I saw Ulta's new advertisement:a huge full-color photo of a model in a wheelchair.

The world of fashion and beauty is rarely related to disabilities, and even though Hollywood has made steps toward greater inclusion and clothing brand Aerie has featured women with disabilities in their advertisements, seeing disabilities in the mainstream is definitely unusual. The reason why these things make headlines is that they're so rare.

I learned from a very young age that because of my disability, I would never be connected with beauty or charm. I'd spent so long feeling separated from so many parts of society, but Ulta is sending a powerful message with a single photo: It's time to challenge conventional beauty standards because beauty comes in all forms.

We all want to feel included. When it comes to disabilities, it is so important, especially for children and teens with disabilities. I was well into my 30s when I rolled into a makeup store for the first time. I had no idea what I was doing and felt like entering a new world without a map; I felt like I was out of place, as if I was peeking at a club without being invited. Imagine how my experience would have been different if I had seen a model in a wheelchair, smiling, as if to say, “Welcome. Yes, you belong!”

That message of inclusion was loud and clear for Maren Anderson, a 4-year-old girl who has a rare genetic disease and just started using a wheelchair. The moment she spotted the advertisement was caught on camera by her mom Carolyn Anderson, and quickly spread last month on Facebook. “It's just really saying that she feels included, and she feels like she identifies with that, and belongs here just like everybody else. So, thank you, Ulta,” said Carolyn Anderson.